The ninja are calmly drinking tea at the monastery when a portal suddenly opens up beside them.

"GET IN."  An unknown, almighty voice booms at them from above.

"Who are you?"  Jay whispers in awe.

"THAT IS OF NO CONSEQUENCE TO YOU."  

"Are you..  My Grandfather?"  Lloyd asks, wide-eyed.

"NO.  GET IN THE HOLE."  The voice repeats its request.

"Are you a new villain who's going to abduct us, torture us, and then steal my cake?"  Cole asks, horrified.

"WHAT-?  NO!"

"Then who are you?"  Nya demands.

The voice sighs.  "I AM.."  It pauses dramatically.  "-KAT!!!"

"Sorry, but did you say that you're a cat?!!!"  Kai questions skeptically.

"IT'S K-A-T!"

"Who spells cat like that?"  Lloyd asks, raising an eyebrow.

"IT'S MY NAME, TRAUMA CHILD!!!"  Kat booms again.

"Touché."  Lloyd mutters.

"I'M BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL TO ENTERTAIN MY READERS, GOT IT?!!!"  The voice shouts exasperatedly.

"Readers?"

"Wait, where are we really?"

"I suppose that we could be trapped in a strange parallel dimension-"

The voice lets out a frustrated yowl.  "ENOUGH!!!  I'M SENDING YOU TO EARTH, WHERE YOUR WITS WILL BE TESTED AGAINST A RATHER UNSTABLE BEE GODDESS', WHO CAN ALSO TIE A MEAN LEFT KNOT."

The ninja all scream as the portal lunges for them, and they fall through.

-In Ancient Egypt-

"Man, it's hot here!  Where are we?"  Jay asks.

"-You're in Ancient Egypt."  A severe-featured woman in camouflage clothing suddenly appears beside him, and Jay screams. 

"-And who are you?"  Nya asks sassily.

"I am Neith, goddess of bees, war, weaving, hunting, and macramé."

All of the guys (except Zane) snort, and Neith glares at them.  "I see that Kat has used her great power to bring me more prey to hunt."

All of the ninja look at each other in horror. 

"You hunt people?!!"  Cole squeaks out.

"Indeed.  I often hunt random strangers that she has deposited here for my entertainment.  It's a fair deal.  She gets to film here, and and she in turn teaches me how to use a rifle."  She cackles maniacally.

"You are a monster!"  Zane gasps.

Neith sidles up next to him.  "It doesn't end there, Metal-Man.  Once I hunt you down, I will take your-"

"-WHAT?!!  My childhood?  My father?  The love of my life?  My soul?!!"  Lloyd breaks down, sobbing.  "TAKE MY SOUL, IT'S THE ONLY THING I HAVE LEFT!!!"  He screams.

"-YOUR POCKETS!!!"  Neith shouts over him.

Lloyd immediately ceases his bawling.  "Oh."

"But we're ninja!  We don't have pockets!!!"  Kai bursts out.

"Don't be a fool!  Everyone has pockets!!!"

"Well, we don't!"  Kai argues.

"LIAR!!!  Where do you keep your rations and macramé, then?"

"What?"

"NEITH, YOU'RE WASTING VALUABLE HUNTING TIME!!!"  The almighty Kat interrupts.

"Oh, right."  Neith plucks an arrow from her quiver and notches it onto her bow.  "If any of you actually survive until sundown, you may share my apocalyptic bunker with me."

"Uhh, that's nice and all-"  Jay begins.

"-You have a five-minute head start.  I suggest that you use it wisely.  Your time starts now."

The ninja all gasp and scramble for the reeds.

"That woman's crazy!"  Lloyd pants.

"There's six of us, we can handle-"  Jay shrieks as he's suddenly flipped upside-down.

"What the-?"  Cole starts.

Zane looks up and studies Jay.  "He appears to have run directly into a trap."

"I can see that, Tin-Can!"  Jay shouts.

Zane ignores him and continues speaking.  "It's a very intricate example of macramé.  The pattern is quite extraordinary-"

"Somebody get me down from here already!!!"  Jay spins in a slow circle as Kai twangs the cord, snickering.

Nya shoves her brother aside.  "I'll get you down, Jay."  She produces a knife from her sleeve and quickly saws through the rope strands, making angry growling sounds as she does so.  Jay falls, and Nya catches him.

"I love you, Nya!"  Jay says adoringly.

Nya beams at him and is about to reply when an arrow whistles past them and embeds itself into a nearby palm tree.  Jay yelps.

"SPLIT UP!!!"  Lloyd yells desperately, his eyes wild,  "SHE CAN'T HUNT US ALL AT ONCE!!!"

"Too late."  Neith appears, the palm fronds in her hair waving ridiculously in a slight breeze.

"How'd you find us so quickly?!!"  Cole asks in disbelief.

"The blue one is very noisy."  She answers.

Everyone glares at Jay, who giggles nervously.  "Well, if this is the end-"

Nya stops him.  "-It's not over until I say it's over."  She pulls something out from a pouch that's attached to her belt loop.  (No pockets, remember?!!)  "I'm sorry, Neith.  Lloyd!  Catch!"  She throws the object, and Lloyd catches it.

Lloyd looks at it and cheers.  "Alright!"  He unwraps it and eats it.

"Really?!!"  Neith says, unimpressed,  "Your last hope was a bar of chocolate?!!  I will slay you and take your pockets!!!"

"For the last time, we don't have any pockets!!!"  Kai shouts.

"-We also want to live!"  Jay adds helpfully.

"Wait for it...  Wait for it..."  Nya mutters.

Lloyds' pupils dilate, and he starts bouncing in place, grinning crazily.  He lunges at Neith, yelling:  "CAAAAANDYYYYY!!!!!"  He pummels her to the ground, and the goddess screams something about surviving the first snake apocalypse before Lloyd beats her into unconsciousness.  "I WIN!!!"  Lloyd crows.

"YOU HEAR THAT, KAT?!!  WE WON!!!"  Cole yells.

-Silence-

"Uhh, how do we get back home?"  Kai asks.

"KAAAAAT!!!  DON'T LEAVE US HERE!!!"  Jay screams, panic-stricken.

"SORRY, I WAS ON MY TEA BREAK.  I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU, THOUGH."  The powerful voice says calmly.

"But you saw what happened, right?"

"OF COURSE.  I SEE EVERYTHING."  The voice booms.  "THAT WAS VERY WELL-PLAYED, NYA.  I'M IMPRESSED WITH YOUR INGINUITY."

"Thanks!  I always keep some candy on hand for Lloyd, in case things get really desperate."  Nya replies proudly.

"BRILLIANT!!!"  Thunderous clapping resonates from the clouds.  "I'M SO PLEASED, I'LL EVEN LET YOU GO HOME!!!"

A portal flashes into existence beside the ninja.  It takes all of their combined strength to pry Lloyd off of Neiths' unconscious body.  The legendary Green Ninja stubbornly clings to the goddess like a hyperactive baby koala, before Nya coaxes him off with more candy.

"I'VE GOT HER POCKETS!!!"  Lloyd shouts triumphantly.

"Come on, Lloyd.  Let's go home."  Cole gives him a piggyback ride through the portal, and Lloyd whoops with delight all the way home.

-A couple hours later-

Neith opens her eyes.  The goddess is bruised and sore all over.  She pats her..  "WAIT!!!  WHERE ARE MY POCKETS?!!!!"  She screams.  "KAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!  WHERE ARE MY POCKETS?!!!!!"

"UHH..?"  The voice replies uneasily.  "I'VE GOT TO GO, NEITH!!!  BYE!!!"

"RETURN MY POCKETS, YOU MONSTER!!!"  Neith yells back at her furiously.

"SILENCE, OR I'LL TELL THE OTHER GODS THAT YOU WERE BEATEN UP BY A SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD CHILD!!!"

Neith makes a noise like 'Meep!'  "Alright then.  When you put it like that..."  

'MM-HMM.  THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT."  Kat rumbles.

Neith crosses her arms and stomps off through the reeds, accidentally stepping on a crocodile.  It opens its maw grumpily, but Neith roars at it.  "NOT NOW, YOU FILTHY SON OF SOBEK!!!"  The crocodile whimpers and scrambles off.  Neith grumbles.  "BAH!"  And then disappears angrily, trailing the candy wrapper behind her.

1156 words!  Not bad, huh?!!  🤣