*Wedding day*

Deceit: I do.

Dark sides: Awww!

Deceit: Or do I?

Dark sides: Oooooh!

. . .

Virgil, on the phone: Hi

Logan: I'm busy right now.

Virgil: Would making Thomas drink 18 cans of red bull to stay awake and study be bad for his health?

Logan:

Logan:

Logan, heavily sighs: I'm on my way.

. . .

Deceit: I win.

Roman: I'm literally restraining you.

Deceit: I know.

. . .

Roman, talking to Thomas: Everything the light touches is gay.

Thomas: What about the dark?

Roman:

Roman: Everything the dark touches... Is straight... 

. . .

Roman: Please peer pressure me into eating this salad.

Remus: Do it or you're straight.

Roman: I said peer pressure not threaten.

. . .

Roman: Yeeted

Remus: Yote

Roman: YEETED

Remus: YOTE

Logan: I just want to know who the FUCK threw Virgil out the window.

. . .

Roman: Alright, so you and I are married.

Virgil: We are not married.

Roman: Relax, it's just pretend.

Virgil: I don't want to pretend.

Roman: Scared you'll like it?

Virgil: Okay, if we're married, I want a divorce.

Deceit: Are you two like this all the time?

Roman and Virgil: Yes.

. . .

Patton: Romeo and Juliet is a love story, right?

Virgil: Romeo and Juliet is NOT a love story. It is a tragedy about how young love is stupid and shortsighted.

Roman: Romeo and Juliet is indeed a tragedy, but the love between the two stars is not stupid or shortsighted -- it is genuine and beautiful. The tragedy comes from the fact that rivalry between the Capulets and the Montagues destabilizes their community and kills two innocent kids who loved each other and-

Virgil: Mercutio is gay.

. . .

*Over on the dark side of things after Remus appeared*

Deceit: What is the ONE thing I asked you not to do tonight!?

Remus: Bring upon chaos.

Deceit: And what did you do!?

Remus: ...Bring upon chaos...

. . .

Logan: Do you ever feel like your life is on a constant loop?

Virgil: It feels more like a downward spiral.

. . .

*Again, on the dark side of things* 

Remus: THIS IS A ROBBERY!

Virgil: oh shIT

Virgil: *takes a violin*

Virgil: *starts playing*

Remus: *lowers his mace*

Remus: The fuck are you doing

Virgil: I'm sad as hell

. . .

Logan: There is no future. There is no past. Do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.

Patton: All I wanted to know was when your birthday is...