So my brother found fanfic I wrote when I was like thirteen that were the origins of this account. He told me at dinner and I'm not going to lie I almost choked on my food. I feel so incredibly upset and annoyed right now. He promised he hadn't read any but he must have if he said "one of them was like 100,000 words!" How would he have known that if he hadn't opened at least one? I don't think he understands just how anxious that makes me.

I'd cry but I don't cry much. I'm probably just going to lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling for hours. I made him delete it all whilst I watched but that doesn't mean... there isn't more. I don't know but I'm paranoid right now.

It was all bad stuff from when I was thirteen and extremely depressed and so it's just sad stuff. All of it. Just about self harm and suicide and was just venting about how shit I felt in my books. Oh and it's terribly written. If he read it, I'm 99% sure he'd figure me out (unless he was stupid which he is not) and none of my family can know that I self harmed. My mum found out I did it once and that was one of the worst days of my life. Not that you shouldn't tell your family but I can deal with it on my own.

Whilst I'm freaking out and wishing for death, I'm going to write about what I was doing earlier. Just to cheer myself up a little.

I spent most of today watching as many ego videos of Mark's as I could find. Personally, I prefer Jack's egos and have never really looked too much into Mark's but I gave his old videos a chance and I've fallen in love.

Not as much as I'm in love with Jack's but yeah. I used to only really know Wilford and Dark but now I think I could name most of them?? My favourite now, other than Wilford, would have to be the Jims.

I know I'm really behind with Mark's but I want to try and get into them a bit more. Who knows, maybe one day I'll start writing fanfic about them rather than Jack's. Probably not but maybe?

I'm going to shut up now. I have business with my ceiling and need to find a reason to be happy in it. Cool. Thanks for listening or well... reading.