I just went through and deleted some of the old photos I sent you. There were a lot so I didn't manage to get through them all. I'll try to at a later date.

I'm not trying to erase a big part of my past by doing this, I'm just trying to rid myself of these triggers. I'm trying to show myself I can live without you. I can surely say I've moved on but I know a part of me will always miss what we had.

I wonder, do you remember what we were like? We were the cringiest couple on the planet. We'd talk all the time which I know now is unhealthy. You even did certain things I should have argued against... like when I said I wanted to cut my hair short and you said you preferred it long so I didn't. Or when you said you didn't want me to get a job so I didn't. That's not right.

Never in a million years would I say you're a bad person. You were everything to me and it's my fault for letting you take that sort of control. I loved you almost too much and, even if you didn't intend on controlling whether I cut my hair or not, all I focused on was making you happy and not myself. Despite this, being with you was when I was at my happiest.

I wasn't ever lonely since you were constantly around. I wasn't sad that often because I had the gifts you sent me to give me comfort. I wasn't ever bored because we were always talking.

I can't help but wonder though... do you miss it?

Because I feel like you never truly loved me the way I loved you and I'm not sure if that's insecurities kicking in or not.

I do miss you every once in a while but it doesn't drag me down anymore. I've moved on. The first crush I had after you felt like the biggest step of my life and I'm proud of myself for that.

Breaking up with you made me feel like no one was ever going to love me again. I thought I'd always be lonely. I thought you were the only one for me.

And, although I'm not in a relationship, I know I am not alone. I have two amazing best friends who are always there for me. (You know who you are.) I know people do love me.

A breakup doesn't need to be the end of the world. It sure felt like it for a while when I'd spend days shut in my room, cry into the depths of the night and isolate myself from everyone. But I survived. It took me a lot of time to move on but I made it, didn't I?

Obviously I still have some depressive episodes; days where I have no motivation and just want to lay in bed all day but everyone experiences that every once in a while. We're only human after all.

I just needed to get this out because looking back over the photos I sent you almost made me sad. Then I remembered how far I came and instead I felt proud of myself for overcoming it.

Maybe I'm not the happiest around but no one can be 100% happy all the time. It's okay to feel sad sometimes.

If you're going through a hard time, you can do this. It isn't the end of the world and you can survive. If you do survive, you'll be so proud of yourself in the future, trust me.

A break up may not compare to your problems but I still believe that you can get through whatever you're going through.

(I'll shut up now.)