I'M SORRY DON'T READ THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT

I look in the mirror
Something doesn't feel right
It's unsettling, contemplating
Whether or not to fight

I cut my hair short
I started wearing black
But it didn't go away
And now I want to go back

I brought back the colour
I wore more pastel
I like it I guess
But it didn't take away that off feel

Everything's too loud
Swirling around me
Grabbing at my arms
Pulling me under the sea

What is this feeling?
Uncomfortableness?
I just want to be alone
I hate being surrounded by the rest

I just want to curl up in a ball
Words should not define me
I just want to lay in bed
Because this is not who I'm supposed to be

I want to feel okay
But I can't come out
Because my parents don't support it
Until then I will mentally shout

Need to get out
Need to escape
I just wish
I could get out of this place

Just for a breather
You know what I mean?
This loud environment
Might as well be suffocating me

I just hope one day
I'll meet somebody
Who will hold my hand
And help me breathe steadily

Hormones make me feel like shit and sometimes I wish I could just tell them to go away and then I'd be free and wouldn't have to suffer every month. I mean, the universe should know I don't ever want to get pregnant so just fuck off, okay?

Sorry I'm just in a lot of pain with it and I'm miserable and grumpy. I keep accidentally snapping at people which is making me really sad. Plus, I'm having a mini crisis don't mind me :)

Also mildly unrelated but the other day I was home alone all day. When I'm alone I seem to be so much happier and productive? Like I played my music at a decent volume and drew, did some baking and tidied up the whole house? I don't know why being alone makes me feel better but it does? I think it might be because my family is so loud that it stresses me out and stuff. And everything's hectic and messy when they're around. Oops.

anyways

I hope you're having a good day. I really do. If you're not, it's okay. Take some time for yourself and watch a new movie or read your favourite book or something. You deserve to be looked after so don't forget to treat yourself every once in a while! <3