Matt and Eric are here

They are my cousins that I don't see often

Matt is my age, and Eric is a year older

We used to play a lot as kids, me, them, and Hailey

But now..

They have girlfriends here..

We're older..

Hailey is off somewhere (hopefully burning in hell)

And I'm too fucking weird and ADHD to approach them like normal

I mean, Eric and his girlfriend were playing on the trampoline when Dez and I got back home from the store

It's dark out, and I can remember vividly playing with Matt and Eric on the trampoline, in the dark, when we were younger

The first thing I blurted out to Dezeray was

"I want to go play with them."

But..

Nope.

Cause Eric's got a gf, Matt's got a gf, and I'm the odd one out.

I don't know what is even holding me back.

Other than the voice in my head saying "You're too old now", "They're already with their girlfriends", "You're a fucking weirdo, and proud to be, but what do they think?"

I don't care about their judgement

I care about if they still want to play

Like we used to, 6 years ago...

The biggest thing holding me back, to be honest, with asking Matt and Eric to join me on the trampoline

Other than their girlfriends..

Is that we're mature.

(For the most part..)

What I mean is we wouldn't play like we used to

No rough and tumble tackling

No flying leaps across the trampoline face first to entertain each other

No little talent shows where we try to show off our best moves in front of the others, sitting along the edge of the trampoline to allow space as well as act like an audience.

No more... Childhood.

That's... depressing..

Cause I know the last time we'd ever do that...

Was years ago.

It's not gonna happen again.

Welcome to Adulthood!

"Where happiness dies!"