Let me give you all a quick summary of what's happened lately:

I got a job at Dunkin' Doughnuts

I have to drive either a van or a car to work, I work a few hours as of now for training, and I leave around 8, which is when it's been getting dark lately

Well, the thing is, the van doesn't have brights at all, and (recently I found out) the regular lights are dim as shit.

Which makes it down right IMPOSSIBLE TO DRIVE HOME RIGHT

It's a 30 minute drive from work to home

Just take a second and imagine what I went through.

Think of anything?

Maybe you're thinking of how hard it is to see,

how hard it is for other people to see me,

how hard it is to stay in the right lane,

how hard it is to see when other people have their fucking BRIGHTS ON and are BLINDING THE FUCK OUT OF YOU and don't even seem to GIVE A SHIT WHEN YOU'RE LAYING ON THE HORN AND TURNING OFF YOU'RE NEARLY NON-EXSISTANT LIGHTS TO TELL 'EM TO FUCK OFF

At first, this wasn't too bothersome for me,I understood that it must be hard to see me when my lights are shit

But I will not tolerate the sort of ASSHOLES WHO LITERALY FUCKING DROVE PAST ME, FLASHING THEIR BRIGHTS WHILE I'M TRYING TO CROSS A POORLY LIT BRIDGE COVERING A PART OF A FUCKING RIVER

The fucker literally did that! I mean, how much of a piece of shit are you to endanger my god damn life by blinding me in the already NEAR DARKNESS.

To make the situation worse, I was about 15 minutes away from home when I realized the blinker was brighter then the pathetic excuse for headlights I was using, so I decided to leave the left one on so I could at least grab GLIMPSES of the line in the middle of the road during flashes.

Well, I turned off a road called F onto another road called FF, which is almost a straight shot home, and was getting along pretty well until some retard had their fucking brights on again so GOD DAMN BRIGHT that I literally had to come to a full fucking stop because I couldn't see for SHIT.

Not fucking kidding, it was so god damn bright that I could have been peering into the brilliant light of GOD'S NAKED ASS CHEEKS.

I even fucking turned on and off my lights and laid on the horn like I had lost all motor functions and was slumped against it, but the fucker STILL didn't turn off their brights. 

I cussed more then a drunken sailor who just smacked his head on a god damn post, hoping to the shit of a ruler we have above that I wasn't gonna fucking die after the asshole passed, because even then I had to STILL WAIT so that I could see again, my eyes had to reajust to the darkness in order to continue my shitty journey back.

I'm sorry that I haven't posted in so long, and once I do it's just to rant about my daring dance with death, and how careless and downright SELFISH people can be.

I'm not saying all of the people I passed were like that, but the ones that were.. //weak laugh, smiling with a slightly crazed look//

Boy howdy, if I EVER confront them with a vehicle that HAS LIGHTS...

...Instead of posting all the shit I just wrote and erased, I'll say this:

They better get the fuck out of my way.

Because I don't have insurance yet -~- 

I dunno, I'm just really upset, okay?

I mean, I could have seriously DIED today.

Like, if I didn't stop when that prick on the road that almost brings me home blinded me, I could have smashed into a tree or hit them.

I could have lost everything I've worked up to in my life, just like that.

Just because they didn't have the god damn courtesy to just dim their headlights. 

None of you would know.

I don't think anyone would post for me that I was dead.

Maybe my sister.. She's the only one that I would want to do that.

But seriously..

That scares me..

really bad..

to the point that when I got inside and started angrily relaying to grandma my story that i was starting to break down crying

I am now 

fuck those people

fuck them all

they need to fucking burn in hell or something

or at least realize that they were endangering someone else's life

I bet my soul if someone told them some would just scoff 

'her fault for not having proper lights' 

I need to stop now.

This has passed the point of an angry rant into just depressing myself.

Sorry to drop such a load on you, my amazing readers..

I should relax.. as if I can..

You should too.

Don't worry about me, I'm just a bit shook.

I'll be fine.

I always am.

A few shitty, half-assed jokes and I'll be my old self again.

Just hard to think of any when the thought of death is lingering at the back of your mind.

Doesn't help when the phrase I created to remember my SS number has 'I'll only live to be 19' in it..

...

okay im stopping now good night

i love you all

im an emotional wreck

a plate of spaghetti where all the noodles are my thoughts and feelings

bah, now i can't help but think if Papyrus..

i want some spaghetti and a hug from a bunch of monster friends now.... (non-monster friends work too)