is what I said when I was walking to the garage to get the van and was practically greeted face to freaking face with Zeus' ass crack of lightning flashing through the sky, DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF ME

Let's just say, I said a lot of other things along the lines of "HOLY SHIT FUCK NO NOPE NO NOOOO MOM I'M NOT GOING NOPE FUCK THIS SHIT!"

Cause my mom and youngest sister needed to go home

During a fucking huge thunder storm

With tornado watches in the next state

Look up the forecast for Douglas County

:D I drove through that shit!!

Like a boss!!

Just kidding, I pussied out like 3 times before we left

Then when we werw driving, I nearly pissed my pants at the next bolt of lightning STRAIGHT AHEAD ON THE ROAD

I mean, I couldn't see for shit since the van's brights are literally darkness (they're out, I guess), but at the same time FUCK OFF, LIGHTNING!!

That happened like 6 more times, half on the way to my mom's house, half on the way home

Don't worry, my mom only lives 5 minutes away

But I was going 25 so it took awhile

Cause

One: Freaking pouring and lightning, not to mention low visiblity and perfect hydroplane conditions

And two: I TOTALLY ACCIDENTLY WENT GENOCIDE ON THE FROGGITS ToT

I FEEL TERRIBLE

I KILLED LIKE 16 FROGS, MAN

I FELT A WHEEL THUMP OVER ONE

I WILL NEVER LIVE THIS DOWN

I AM A TRUE SINNER

I DESERVE TO BURN IN HELL ;-;

BUT SHIT I'LL TAKE RUNNING OVER FROGS OVER LIGHTNING ANY TIME

CAUSE I FUCKING NEARLY PISSED EVERYTIME I SAW IT

Though it didn't scare me as bad as the deer that literally BOLTED across the road while I drove Dez home

Like, it wasn't even at the side of the road like usual

I only saw it when it launched itself across the gravel, nearly giving me a heart attack as I wheezed out a small breath before yelling in shock, the damn thing like 6 feet in front of us

God damn

Dezeray was laughing her ass off at my reaction and the deer

I will admit, it was freaking charging

Like, it was almost level to the ground it was running so damn fast

Like a god damn torpedo covered in brown fur

Or the Flash mutated into an animal or something

But seriously, it scared me so bad that my chest HURT for a few minutes afterwards.

You know in books how it says a character's heart hits their rib cage?

Mine was trying to go fucking John Cena on my ribs

Dumb deer.

Now thats a mix I actually fucking had

I was like just around the corner from the final stretch to my house

And I fucking deer was standing at the edge of the road, staring at me like I was driving a tank through a preschool

At least, that's what it felt like with the frogs... ;-;

But seriously I screamed bloody murder at the damn thing as it kinda meandered back into the woods like nothing happened

My voice is going to be shit with all the yelling I did...

Cause I don't think I mentioned that I found a way to cope with the dread of knowing I was practically commiting suicide being out there

Scream profanity at all who make you wanna poop your seat and clench the steering wheel so damn hard there's indents in the INDENTS OF IT!!

Seriously! That doesn't feel good when you have 3 bandaids on your left hand!

God dayum

I'm just seriously happy I'm home, my mom and sis are home, and we're all oka-

//humongous clap of thunder//

I SWEAR ON MY FUCKING SOUL, ZEUS, YOU BETTER KNOCK DAT SHIT OUT

I WISH YOU HAD GOD DAMN EPILIPSY

TEACH YOU TO FUCKING FLASH A GIRL JUST TRYING TO GET HOME AND CRY OVER THE FROGS THAT DIED TODAY

SERIOUSLY, MAN!

SANS IS GONNA RAIN HELL ON ME NOW