Mom: Okay we're leaving for our date!

*reading in room*

Mom: And your other mom is going with.

*still reading*

Mom: Food is in the fridge.

*reads*

Mom: So don't do anything stupid.

*still reading*

Mom: Or burn down the house.

Mom: *leaves the house locking the door*

*looks up from book*

*emerges slowly like an easily startled deer*

*sits on couch and reads*

Mom: *comes home*

*scurried back into room like a frightened squirrel*

Admit it. It's 100% true.