^i was feeling myself this morning, i was feeling more... confident then usual. and yes i know i'm wearing glasses, i woke up late and my contacts weren't cooperating^

Also this chapter is gonna be about me and my faith and stuff as of late. If you don't care about my faith or if you're just gonna make fun of me for my beliefs, just leave now.

So I don't know how many of you have noticed, but it's been a little... negative on wattpad. Life can be really messed up and bad and it's hard to see the light... being a Christian myself, it was hard to see God and trust He has a plan throughout all of this... but by some miracle, whenever I lead a song at church, the message of the song is always a lesson I need to learn.

One of the first times I truly lead (the first time I 'lead', it was only the chorus of a song) it was the song 'King of my Heart', And I was struggling with it. No matter what I did, it never sounded right to me, never sounded good in the slightest.... almost like, by extension, I wasn't good enough to lead it... I know, it's extreme, but I can be an extremist at times (normally with my emotions.)

As many of you probably know, I went on a mission trip to Colorado this summer for about a week and it completely flipped my perspective on the song. After that week, I learned that I need to have faith that God loves me and wants me to sing and praise Him no matter how it sounds, it's all about giving him the glory, and He has gifted me with a voice He adores.

In King of my Heart, the bridge is "You're never gonna let, you're never gonna let me down" and during my mission trip, we did the song one night at worship, I truly focused on the words, and I cried cuz I never focused on the words I was singing before.

With the song I lead today, it was perfect timing. I needed to learn to trust in Him, no matter what crappy things happen. "When it doesn't go my way, I know that it is not the end." "I don't know how the story ends, but I know that you finished it." Both of these lines from the song spoke to me about all that was happening.

I just wanted to share this all with those of you who care. I love y'all <3