Setting: Being a weapons administrator, your life is okay. But when Lady Deadpool shows up at your door, everything seems to go downhill.

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     You were watching Dr.Phil. Currently Steven Avery's case was on, and you were torn. This is crazy. You thought. I need a break.

You turned off your tv and stood up. You avoided the piles of dirty clothes and made your way to the kitchen.  After making some Mac N' cheese, you sat down on the couch.

Your thoughts drifted back a new weapon you wanted to smuggle. It was something Tony Stark had recently designed, and all your customers wanted it. You took another bite of your meal, grimacing at the cheap taste.

You were pretty wealthy, so you didn't understand why you still lived in a chum bucket and ate crap food. You need to keep a low profile.

Your phone started ringing, and the song Tom Ford started playing. It was your main customer, Lady Deadpool. She was a total {redacted}. But she had a lot of money to waste on weapons.

"Hey. It's not Weasel," you said into the phone. Weasel was another W.A. He was your sworn enemy for life. You both competed to see who could sell the most crap and get the most money.

"Hey Y/N! Can you get the biggest gun you have out? I'm coming over!" She sounded out of breath. You shrugged, even though she couldn't see it.

"Sure. Bring some money," you requested. You stood up and walked down to your basement.

It was full to the brim with swords, rifles, grenades, and even tracking device or two. You had everything you could think of.

You grabbed the biggest shotgun you had. Lady Deadpool had nicknamed it Sassy. You didn't complain over the nickname.

"I have 10 bucks," she said over the phone. You forgot she was even on the phone. You shrugged.

"You can pay me back later."

You charged up Sassy. The thing about Sassy, was that she shot out globs of blue crap. The blue crap dissolved anything it touched, even soil. The only way to stop it was pouring water on it.

You made your way upstairs, and carefully set Sassy on your kitchen table.

"I'm here!" LD screamed. She crashed through the window.

"What the actual {redacted}!" You screamed right back. You grabbed Sassy again and pointed her at Lady DP.

"You just broke my window!" You yelled at her. She shrugged and rushed up to you.

"Give me the gun!"

You glared at her.

"Why would-" you were interrupted as more people crashed through your windows.

"Seriously?" You yelled at them. Lady Deadpool forced Sassy from your hands and started shooting them.

"Not in my house!" It was too late. Blue globs were demolishing everything in sight.

"Ugh," you groaned. Sometimes, you hated your job. Because stuff like this happened.

"Sorry!" Your companion said cheerfully. You grabbed your phone and ran downstairs. After grabbing a couple of katanas, a brand new shotgun, a small rifle, and a backpack full of money, you ran back upstairs.

"Let's go!" She yelled.

The blue crap had eaten your whole living room, and nothing remained.

"I actually liked this house..." You complained.

You both ran outside, and bullets attacked you. You didn't react fast enough, and a bullet went straight through your thigh.

You yelled out and held your thigh.

"Cover me!" You yelled at Lady Pool.

You limped over to your car, and dropped down behind it. You ripped a piece of your yoga pants off and wrapped it around your thigh. Bullets zoomed over your head, and you heard yelling.

You grabbed the shotgun, and quickly stood up. You shot randomly until you heard a groan. Satisfied, you sat back down.

"Hey!" Lady Deadpool yelled.

You smiled goofily.

"Oh. sorry," you pretended to be sorry.

While you were attending to your thigh, Lady Pool had murdered all of the baddies. So you actually just shot her.

She pulled you out from behind the car and patted your shoulder.

"You need to learn how to shoot, my good friend."

"I'm sell weapons. I don't use them," you reminded her. A bullet popped out of her forehead and you smiled.

"Is that where I got you?"

"Yeah..."

You were completely satisfied. But then you remember about your house.

"I want money."

"What about all the money in your backpack?" She questioned you.

"Why do you think I have money in there?" You narrowed your eyes at her.

She scoffed at you.

"I'm going to give you that twenty dollars I don't actually have. And then I'm going to leave. By the way, your car is perfectly not okay." She said quickly.

Next thing you know, she is gone.

You stand up, leaning on your non-injured leg. Your house is destroyed, and you could just hear the wailing of cop cars.

You opened the car door, and with a huge bang, your car exploded. You flew back a few feet. Staring at the piece of now burning metal, you couldn't imagine how this day could get any worse.

The wailing of the cop cars got closer, and you tried to get up. You held back a groan as you realized your body was covered in small burns. You laid back. There was nothing else you could do.

Soon enough, the cops came, you were arrested, and thrown in prison for murder and theft.

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Theme songs: Ooh Ahh (My Life Be Like)

Groove is in the Heart

Hot N*gga.

Finally. I finished it. Checked and reviewed on 1.22.16.

Alternative ending.
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"I want money."

"I want money." She said right back at you. She glanced at the backpack you were carrying.

"Nuh. No way." You warned her.

She sighed.

"Give me the money. I need it more than you do," she said.

"I need it to find a new place to live. Look what you did to my house! You are probably just going to gamble with it!"

"So what if I am?"

Before you could talk back, she pressed a katana to your throat.

"Give the backpack to me and I won't have to hurt you."

You crinkled your nose at her in distaste.

"No," you replied calmly. You were not going to give up this money.

"Y/N," she warned again.

"No."

She rolled her eyes at you.

"Whatever then."

She sliced off your head with a quick movement. She ripped the backpack from your grasp and put it on her back.

I guess it was a really bad day for you.

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