Tw for mention of inc*st and mention of unaliving. Yeah, skip this chapter if you want.

When you remember how your old friend once forced you to roleplay inc*st with them 🙂🔫

Yea. I keep remembering that lately, and I really dislike it.

I hate it very much. Why did they do that why

The friend also talked about some very sexual stuff sometimes :/ they made me very uncomfortable, but I did not know how to say that.

If you know what and who I'm talking about, please do not contact the person or look at former roleplays. I was forced to do those, and they make me heavily uncomfortable.

Please do not contact the person, I do not want to be associated with them.

they were a really good friend, I feel like we had lots of good memories together. But I also did not like most of our friendship. I felt as if sometimes I made things bad, and they were almost always mad at me. I feel like its my fault our friendship was falling apart.

I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

I feel like if I vent about it, though, one of my friends would think I'm disgusting. They'll block me instantly and never talk to me ever again on wattpad, tumblr, google chat, email, you name it.

Please, just know I am not like that. I was forced.

Now I feel like I'm victimizing myself, but I'm trying not to. I just CANT stop thinking of the horrible, disgusting thing that was. But it wasn't even anything 18+. If was just like, kissing and angst and shit. I hate it so much.

Just know I do not want to associate myself with that anymore. And I believe your reading this, but I'm not sure if you are. Just know that it wasn't that one ship. The one where I recently unpublished the one chapter of that. It was still the same person who I role played that with, but that was all crack and we did that like once I believe. It was a more worse thing. I just want to erase that part of the past so badly.

And another vent thing:
I don't know why, but I feel like I'm loosing or just lost something/someone.

Like a big part of me is gone, but I don't know.

I feel guilty of something that I do not know of. I don't know why.

And sometimes I feel like I should just end it all. But like, I don't want to. I really, really don't want to. But I have to, but I can't. I won't. But I can't do this anymore. But I have to live. I want to live. I hate it.

Maybe this vent will possibly make me feel better. Like I finally got something off of my chest, and I don't have to have so much weight on me.

If you read this whole thing, thank you. I need someone to listen to me, but I can't have someone listen to me. Just, idk. Know that I really appreciate and love you (platonically).