why does life have to suck so bad at times? like, I finally have a fantastic boyfriend in my life who I love with all my heart and he loves me just as much but my home life is shit. Nothing ever goes my way. We have no money for food or anything and crap and it just sucks. I just had surgery, which is actually a good thing, but I have like nothing other to do other than eat, sleep, AMD do make up work for school. which brings me to that. I am terrified of not getting good grades this semester due to having to catch up on so much stuff from being stuck at home and not able to walk on my foot for 6 entire weeks. it sucks. but whatever. I mean I know I'll get through it.

which also reminds me. remember Hayden? yeah, still really not over him. And at this point I just think I'll never get over him. each time I see him I blush so hard and my face gets hot and I can't stop smiling. but, with Austin, its so different. although im not over Hayden the feelings I have with Austin are incredible. he's so perfect for me and i'm so perfect for him. we are best friends and can talk about literally anything and everything together. I'm so myself with him and I feel I can trust him with my life. he's always there for me and always asks how I am doing and how my day has been. He is all I've ever wanted and more. its amazing. the very first time we met I just immediately felt this beautiful connection and fascination towards him, and I knew instantly that I needed to get to know him more. he's beautiful to me, absolutely perfect, but my friends think differently, and frankly I couldn't give a single fuck because he makes life worth living. he makes me feel so better when I'm in crappy moods and does everything he can he to help me in any way possible. I love him. I love him more than I have ever loved any human soul and my dream is to someday run away with him to Alaska, have our own little cozy house, harvest and hunt for our own food, and live in pure happiness.

So, maybe life isn't too bad after all.