⚠️TW Suicide, please do not read if you are too sensitive talking/reading about this topic.⚠️

Guys... 

I just have to say it. I am incredibly sorry if someone feels offended by me saying this but:

I want to talk about this rough and hard but still important topic real quick. 

The past couple of weeks were really challenging for me because four people I know tried or said they would want to commit. One of them actually "succeeded", if you can put it like that. And I don't say it's selfish to kill yourself, cause no... just no, but to quote a very smart and brilliant man:

"Your own death is something that happens to everybody else. Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it."

Actually, taking your own life is a pretty weird expression, isn't it? Taking it from whom. Once you took it, it's not you who'll miss it. 

And again, I don't say something like: "What a selfish thing to do. Make other people suffer, and mourn over your death."

Everything I want to say is: 

YOU ARE IMPORTANT

YOU ARE ENOUGH

YOU ARE LOVED

And I know its easy to say, and no-one will ever fully understand what your going through because I know this situation. Feeling like you don't have a single soul who really listens to you and understands you, and wants to be with you. I know this feeling of not being pretty enough, good enough, smart enough... of simply not being enough...

But I also know the perspective of the one receiving the message afterwards. 

I know what you think right now: well, it doesn't matter, they don't really care about me, they'll be fine after a couple of days/weeks/whatever

But honey, I promise, they won't. 

They will constantly think about you and what they could have done differently. 

I know how it feels receiving a message like: 

"I have to break our promise. I am sorry. I can't take this anymore. I simply can't. I am so sorry. I love you."

or

"By the way, XY tried to kill himself two weeks ago. He's fine now, but he's in the hospital."

Your whole world stops spinning, and your heart stops for a beat before you can think straight and do something rational. You go to contacts, try to call the person, and no-one picks up the phone. You dial the number over and over and over again until the person finally picks up or send you a text saying "you don't have to worry" because they won't do anything tonight. 

I went through this shit two times this month. 

The third time I got the message, "he tried to commit two weeks ago, but he's still alive, don't worry."  

The fourth time a friend of mine told me out of the blue something like: "do you remember xy sister? she killed herself last week."

And believe me: IT FUCKING SUCKS, OKAY??

So if you ever feel like you can't talk to anybody about whatever happened in the past or is happening right now: DM me, please. Because receiving a text or answering a phone-call containing the message someone wants to, someone tried to, or someone did is horrible. 

And I'm serious. Please, DM me. I will listen. I promise. 

So with that being said: have a nice day / have a good night

Lots of love 

Big hugs

Lou