Disclaimer: This story contains dark topics such as suicide. If you are sensitives to those types of topics then I suggest you not read this particular story.

I can't imagine what she's going through. Losing Rueben...now losing her brother...

He um...he...He wasn't the best brother. He was a jerk to her and her family and never loved them like he should have. He was also suicidal...and he uh...It all happened last night. We got a call from Aiden, whom apparently was good friends with, saying that he found Jess dead in his room this morning. And Jesse didn't know how to feel...she didn't know wether to grieve or not. That just shows how great of a relationship they had. At least Aiden was smart enough to let everyone know. She's locked herself in her in for the past day or so...no one has seen her come out since. I've tried to talk to her but she wouldn't reply or open the door...so I left her be.

And now I'm here, standing in front of her door, hesitating to knock. I don't know if there's any point. But I decided to knock anyway, even if she won't open, at least she knows that I'm here if she needs me.

*Knocks* "Jesse...? It's me, Lukas. Are you okay? ....Can I do anything for you?" I didn't know what to say! What- what are you supposed to say? Silence. She needs more time... "It's okay, Jesse. Just...know that I'm here if you need me." I said as I began to walk away from her door.

"Wait" I heard someone say. "...Are you alone?" She asked. It sounded like she was right up against the door.

"Yeah, It's just me." I answered. The moment I replied, the door unlocked and swung open, revealing Jesse's pink face and tear stained cheeks. Her eyes were puffy and just as pink as her face. You could tell just by looking at her that she had no tears left to cry. The second she opened the door and saw me, she herself into my arms and buried her face into my chest. I was a bit shocked. I didn't expect her to be so unhesitant. I was so sure that she would be distant and quiet, but I was clearly wrong. I hugged her tight, not ever wanting to let. I don't know how but...she wasn't crying. Not that she didn't want to, but as if she couldn't, as if she literally didn't have any tears left to cry.

She calmed down after a few minutes and we were now sitting on her bed. Her pillow was soaked, there were too many tissues to count scattered across the floor, and there were now pictures of him everywhere. I didn't know what to say...so I just started with the first thing that came to my head.

"He thought you were awesome..." I told her, giving her a small smile. It was true. Aiden wasn't the only one who was friends with him. She looked confused, and all the sudden it really hurt to realize that she truly didn't know.

"He thought I was awesome? My brother?" She scoffed. She obviously didn't believe me. They were so tight when they were little, but everything changed around middle school for them, it got worse when high school came around. And I didn't know either of them until 2 years back.

"Defiantly!" I tried reassuring her. But I could tell by the look in her eyes that she still was convinced that she was a ghost to him.

"How?"

"Well..." Where do I start? He loved talking about Jesse. We both did...

"He said, 'There's nothing like your smile, sort of subtle and perfect and real.'...He said, 'You never knew how wonderful that smile could make someone feel.'" I almost started laughing as the blush crept up my face... And yet...why do I feel like crying?

"And He knew, whenever you get bored you'd scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans *laughs*" I said, as we both looked at exactly that: the different sized stars on her jeans cuffs. And Jesse lightly smiled.

"And he noticed that you still filled out the quizzes that they put in those teen magazines" Her beautiful smile grew. And the blush returned ._. But my smile disappeared...

"But he kept it all inside his head. What he saw, he left unsaid. And though he wanted to, he couldn't talk to you. He couldn't the way...but he would always say..." I softened my voice, and a single tear ran down my face. " 'If I could tell her, tell her everything I see, If I could tell her how she's everything to me. But we're a million worlds apart. And I don't know how I would even start if I could tell her. If I could tell~' " Jesse sniffled, trying to hold back tears.

"Did he say anything else?" Jesse asked with her voice cracking.  I-I don't know...what I'm feeling. I think a part of me is happy that she could finally understand how much he loves her. But the other part of me knew that she didn't see that he isn't the only one who thought those things about her. It...kinda- really hurts.

"A-about you?"

Jesse stiffened and arose from her bed. "N-nevermind, I don't really care anyways--" Jesse panicked and began to stutter. And that's when I panicked too... "--Nonono!! Just-no-no!! He said- he said so many things, I'm just- I'm just trying to remember the best ones! Heh.." Then I sudden realized that I had unconsciously grabbed her hand to prevent her from leaving. And I could feel the heat in my cheeks. "Um.." I said, quickly letting go of her hand.

"He thought, you looked really pretty-- Er!-- it looked pretty cool when you put indigo streaks in your hair." (Smooth XD) *internal cringe*

"He did??!" She exclaimed. We both laughed nervously. 'Think of something quick'

I grabbed her hand again (intentionally this time) "A-and he wondered how you leaned to dance like all the rest of the world isn't there." I said, twirl her around and around. She looked so graceful.

Another tear rolled off my face. "But he kept it all inside his head. What he saw, he left unsaid. 'If I could tell her! Tell her everything I see, if I could tell her how she's everything to me!' "

*Jesse and Lukas* "But we're a million worlds apart."

*Just Lukas* And I don't know how I would even start...If I could tell her! If I could tell her--but what do you do then there's this great divide?!" I began crying, more and more tears following.

"--He just seems so far away..." Jesse admitted, letting a single tear fall.

"--and what do you do when the distance is too wide?!"

"--It's like I don't know anything..."

"And how do you say...I love you?...I love you...I love you! I love--" mmph...Hmm? I was I cut off my Jesse....kissing me. I didn't waste my moment to kiss her back. She slowly stroked the hair on the back of my neck with one hand and the other placed on my chest. I wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her closer to me, deepening the kiss. And just for a minute, everything just kinda faded away. When we pulled away, we rested our foreheads against each other's.

*Jesse and Lukas* "But we're a million worlds apart" We both said, smiling.

*Just Lukas* "And I don't know where I would even start...If I could tell you.."

"You don't have so tell me anything, you dork." Jesse said while smirking, and just before kissing me again

This one was a lot of fun to make! I did have to change a few things for the story's sake. At first, I wasn't going to make Jess a jerk like Conner, but it was easier. And I wasn't going to have Lukas, Aiden, and Jess to all be friends but I also figured that it would be easier. I really liked writing this one. And I hope you enjoyed reading it. Tell me what you think!