Okay...

This... Um...
I love my friends. And... I never want them to be hurt emotionally or physically... Or mentally...

I can't say I'm jealous that almost all my gal friends have a boyfriend but.... It's More of the "I feel left out of the parade"...

Just... I can't say that I'm In Love, or I have a special someone, or, that I have a boyfriend...

And I'm not saying I want one since... I'm not ready to.

I say that and there is everyone that's my friend is younger than me and they have boyfriends...

But... Um...
Just... Watching everyone else with their boyfriends... Using so many adjectives in a sentence to describe them...

It just... It just irks me...
And... Hoenstly... In the long run... I start crying because... I'm just like "I feel like I will never have that person. Because I'm going to have the worst luck and I'm going to get hurt before that person comes along..."

Danggit. I half crying right now.
Just...
Um...

Sigh...
I dont-

I've just had a bad history with my friends' boyfriends...

One of my friends' boyfriend doesn't really like me, one liked me before he and my friend got together, and... Well... Others, I never had really met...

Okay... The point of this whole thing was for me to say....

I feel left out...
I feel like many people don't actually care and many people would drop me behind for their boyfriend/girlfriend, and... I would be left without my big brother... without my friends, and... without my family...

I had one heartbreak for someone I liked, to call me weird/crazy...
I had messed up trying to tell him I liked him and... Yeah...
So... In all honesty... I don't even know what's it is like to "Like like" someone....

So...
Yeah....
Sorry for bothering you guys...

And...
Yeah...
Bye...
~Alaina...