Alright this shit happened to me the other day.

So I was in Barnes & Noble right, just browsing the comic book section, chilling out maxing relaxing all cool you know. When all of the sudden, this cheap-cologne scented, fedora-wearing, floral ass wipe appears. He notices that I'm eyeing up in X-Men comic, and takes quick note of the shirt I'm wearing.

(It was this one btw)

And this petty fuck is, like, in his late 20s.

So he comes up to me, and goes "nice shirt." I mumble a thanks in return, hoping that what he says next isn't what I think it is.

But when have I ever been right?

This frog face communist bitch nazi wrinkles his nose and asks that fateful question:
"Do you even know all those characters?"

"Why, yes sir, I do." I said as politely as possible, cuz my mama didn't raise no salty bitch. She also didn't raise an emo trash baby, but here I am.

"Name them then!"

Alright, you My Little Pony body-pillow humping fuck, be a petty shit then. See where that gets you with me.

I pointed to the characters and logos, naming them by their hero names and aliases. And the man-baby was quiet until I reached the Flash.

"Green Lantern, or Hal Jordan. The Flash, or Barr..."

"Aha! Wrong! That's not Barry Allen! That's the Wally West version of The Flash!" He exclaims, beaming like he just made the world a brighter place, even though he did nothing but correct a 14 year old girl in a superhero shirt.

But you didn't correct me you piece of shit.

I got him now. "Actually sir, this is the Barry Allen version of The Flash. If you look closely," I motion to the Flash head right above my one breast, "you will see that he has blue eyes. Wally West has green, or in some variations, brown."

He leaned in to get a closer look...

Bingo

I shoved him back as hard as I could. "Hey," I cried, trying to cause a scene. "Don't get that close to me again!"

He got flustered. "I...what...?" He was wiggling like a worm on a hook.

That's right. Squirm bitch squirm.

"What's wrong," a woman asked as she came close to the two of us.

"This man was looking at my breasts!" I said a little louder than needed, but hey, I'm extra.

"But, I ... You said..."

I then turned and stomped off. Leaving him to gape and try and scrape together an explanation to this woman.

Mission accomplished.

I later saw the same man in the checkout line. He angrily whispered about why I had to cause a scene like that. I simply asked him why he had to go about being an asshat like he did. I told him that if he ever wanted to make a woman feel bad about what she likes, then he deserved to feel like a bad person.

Check

Fucking

Mate.

So yeah I did him dirty.

Shout-out to my fellow Emo Squids ™

garmaufan123

AsterousAsFrick

evilly_laughing

You guys are the best d(^u^)b

Until next time!