1.
Branch: Hey Cooper, how u doin?
Cooper: I SWALLOWED A GOLFBALL-
Branch: Are u ok?
Cooper: I CANT POOP-

2.
Cooper: The horse used the elevator??? I didn't know he knew how to do that-

3.
Troll: What's ur type?
Branch: I have a girlfriend
Troll: So what's ur type then?
Branch: My girlfriend
Troll: And what does she look like?
Branch: She looks like my girlfriend
Troll: So what would u rate me out of 10?
Branch: Um I can't do that
Troll: U can't rate me at all?
Branch: No I can't rate u at all
Troll: What would u rate ur girlfriend out of 10?
Branch: She broke my scale cuz she's so beautiful UwU

4.
Branch: I am at a loss for words!!
Poppy: Despite being at a loss for words, Branch yelled at me for the next 45 minutes

5.
Branch: Breaking news. I actually could use ur support but I've convinced myself that asking for help would make me a burden, and instead of giving u the choice Imma make the decision for u by never asking and suffer in silence. More of this after the weather update

(1/9/2022