—————

Grian: when you step on people's feet, their mouths open like trash cans.

Cleo: I would recommend adding spikes to your shoes if you want this to work properly.

—————

Joe: I accidentally played dad instead of dead when I got confronted by a bear and now it knows how to ride a bike 

—————

Xisuma: my new business card just arrived!

Keralis: oooo, can I see? 

Xisuma: here you go! 

Keralis: .... it's literally just a sheet of paper that says "don't contact me"

Xisuma: exactly 

—————

Beef: I hate this city

Etho: why? 

Beef: I THOUGHT I GOT A PARKING TICKET BUT SOMEONE JUST PUT A CORN ON THE COB ON MY WINDSHIELD 

—————

Scar: the Washington monument looks nothing like Washington?????

Cub: maybe he did look like that, but the artists just never depicted him correctly 

—————

*pretend everyone's in a science class*

Doc (the teacher): *walks in holding a human brain* you have no idea what I went through to get this

Joe: the skull?

—————

Iskall when they get a new batch of merch: One last time as per the contract, I must advise you to acquire product.

—————

Ren: I have fallen down the stairs more times then I'd like to admit. One time I feel down with an entire plate of spaghetti. That was more of an.... emotional pain then a physical one.

—————

(S6 reference for y'all)

Convex: *sees Sahara and Idea* go away, you aren't allowed to have money.

—————

Scar: *struggling to open dishwasher* how do I open this?

Cub: open it with your teeth

Scar: I may be money hungry but I'm not bad enough to open a dishwasher with my teeth

—————

Jellie: *walks into room with paper in her mouth*

Bdubs: w-what is that paper? *picks it up* 

Paper (in writing): if you're cringing at your past self you've improved as a person 

—————

Etho and Beef playing tugboat: I disagree with this fast.

—————

Scar, when entering the Mycelium HQ: BOO

Grian: ⍑𝙹ꖎ||    ᓵ⍑╎ᓵꖌᒷリ    リ⚍⊣⊣ᒷℸ ̣ ᓭ!

Everyone else: ????

Scar, in his mind: why did he say 'holy chicken nuggets'? how does he know galactic?

—————

IskallMAN: I'm gonna prank text somebody 

<IskallMAN> hey Renbob you wanna come to my bbq

<XisumaVoid> You got the wrong number

<IskallMAN> I'm bring chicken 

<IskallMAN> I'm *bringing chicken

<IskallMAN> I'm bringing chicken

<IskallMAN> I'm bringing chicken

<IskallMAN> I'm bringing chicken

<IskallMAN> I'm bringing chicken

<IskallMAN> I'm bringing chicken

<IskallMAN> I'm bringing chicken

<XisumaVoid> ok

<IskallMAN> I'm bringing chicken

<IskallMAN> I'm bringing chicken

<XisumaVoid> wrong number 

<IskallMAN> I'm bringing chicken

—————

This was all I could think of ;-;