Am I an introvert? The question no one has asked me but I am here to answer.

I am mostly introverted, but I think I am fairly extraverted as well. I'm a cocktail of social awkwardness.

I have a lot of traits of both! And I like (almost) all of these traits. But it has confused me for awhile, because I felt obligated to fit in a box of either "extraverted" or "introverted" and it botgered me. I hate being put into boxes by other people.

So, as I've been thinking about it more and just wrestling with identity in general, I figured out a way of explaining it that makes sense to me.

I am extraverted or introverted based on how comfortable I am in the current situation. This probably sounds very common and I do think it is, but just hear me out.

Level one: New, unfamiliar situation and probably with a handful of unfamiliar people. I am very introverted and closed off in this scenario. I don't talk much, I'm very guarded, and I look either very uncomfortable or very distant/cold. Or shy.

Level two: Maybe now we're somewhere I'm familiar comfortable with. Whether I know the people I'm with or not, I feel more relaxed in general. I now probably come across as extroverted. I'm very friendly and comfortable around strangers when the environment is natural for me.

Level three: If I am very familiar with the people I'm around, I act very extroverted. This is why a lot of my friends think I'm an extrovert because this is the stage they see me in most often because they're my friends. However, I am usually socially exhausted after being around them for awhile.

Level four: WHEN I FEEL COMPLETELY RELAXED AND COMFORTABLE BEING MYSELF, I AM AN INTROVERT. Very few people see me like this because they are closest inner circle. I am so relaxed that I don't mind acting like an introvert around them. I don't feel obligated to bring a ton of energy into the situation and I can just relax.

Whenever I imagine an ideal partner/best friend, I imagine being able to be in level four with them. I don't need to act a certain way or be a certain person other than myself. And I like thinking about that.

Anyway, this whole chapter was kind of a thought dump to get some things out of my brain. Let me know if anyone else relates to this structure and if you too are an introvert :)

Anyway, I'm not sure how many people are going to see this anyway lol.