Dying on the inside, drowning on the outside

Life sucks and I have to suck it up and pretend like crap didn't just blow up like fucking moron! I mean really, is it soooo bad just to want to be selfish and have friends that won't leave you because you're socially inept and awkward?

Is it really so bad to just want one person to stay by you no matter what? To not care if you don't talk a lot or spend excessive amounts of time on electronics or talk a lot about something you really like?

Is it so bad to skip class but then get chewed out because you didn't know you were supposed to tell your teacher? Is it fair to be called out for being late because you were at the nurses office getting medication because you got your wisdom teeth removed and school doesn't trust us to take it ourselves?

Is it worth living like this when everyone around you just tells you to suck it up and pretend that everything is A-OK and that if you pretend long enough everything will be fine? Newsflash, it isn't bitches.

Why put in the effort to make friends when all they do is leave you behind? What good are friends if they aren't there for you? What good is family who can't tell that you're in pain by the sound of your voice? What good are parents who tell their child to suck it up and pretend like everything is ok when the child is depressed and grieving?!

What good is life in general? What good is reality? All they do is hurt. Fiction is better, even if everyone else says it's an unhealthy coping mechanism. Well screw you, it works fine for me!!

Why?
—— IDCAM