Driver's Education is basically the worst thing in the history of the planet.

That's probably an exaggeration to you, but NOT FOR MEEEE!

Listen. I'm 16. All my friends (even my best friend who is two years younger than me) have taken drivers training, and I haven't. Not until today, that is. Now, today had already been a very taxing day for me. New trimester, new classes, new teachers. Lots of stuff to do, three projects already, one essay, and the knowledge that I now must give 15 hours of tutoring to students at my school to pass my math class. Hooray. (Why is that even a requirement? I don't know.)

But now I'm taking Drivers Ed. My mom signed me up and was just like SURPRISE!

Let me tell you, I hate surprises anyway. Good surprises. Hate 'em.

THIS WAS NOT A GOOD SURPRISE, PEOPLE!

On the car ride there, I was already so nervous I felt dizzy and sick. I'd dug my nails into my palms so hard they'd left marks. My hands were shaking, and it was getting harder to control my breathing. I was even in the building yet! And once we got into the room, I honestly couldn't talk. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe I am a shy person. It wasn't about making friends, it was more about the anxiety I got just thinking about it. Cars terrify me. New social situations in which we have nothing in common terrify me. Not knowing and being comfortable with the setting terrified me.

So when the teacher took attendance and asked me to pronounce my name, I spoke, and NO WORDS CAME OUT. I had to attempt to speak four times until my voice was at an audible level, and by this time, everyone was staring at me. I could honestly imagine them growing bigger and bigger and suffocating me with their claws.

Okay, they didn't have claws, but still!

Then the teacher goes on to explain all these rules, and asks this question: "Who here has driven before?" Now, driving without a permit or license is illegal, but the teacher assured he only wanted to know how much experience everyone had and we would not be punished. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE except me rose their hand. So already, I'm at a disadvantage on the first day of class.

Then there were the videos.

You know, the driving safety videos. Where there is a camera in the car, and they show footage of someone driving down a road, explaining the rules they're learning and following. Now, I thought being a passenger in a car was scary, but for some reason, watching a video from a drivers point of view, and watching "myself" drive past other cars and roads, made me quite terrified. I was shaking again and trying to slow my breathing and trying not to become even more dizzy at the sight.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

This is an irrational fear, right? Cars can be safe, right?

WRONG.

At this exact moment in the lesson, the instructor decides they want to read statistics of teen deaths and crashes per year, and how, "Driving is not a right, but a privilege," and how if we're not careful we can get seriously injured or killed. Lovely.

So now not only am I socially anxious, I'm terrified to drive and feeling sick at the thought. On top of all that, I have to read two chapters of this stupid manual book thingy and answer a bunch of questions for homework, and apparently it will be the same amount if not more every day?! Like, dude. Do you know how much I have to do anyway? And I have an Odyssey of the Mind competition to prepare for this week, too! I don't have time for this! (Or sanity.)

Sorry I complain so much, I promise I'm done now! (I HATE DRIVERS ED!!!) Ahem. Yep, done.

See you next update!

MostlySleepDeprived