This explanation is probably waaaaay overdue but, here we go.

As you are probably already aware I haven't been around much, and there are many reasons for that but the main reason is that.. For quite a while now, I have been suffering with depression. I haven't been able to talk about it much to anyone, specifically my family, so I haven't got much help that I need to get better. I also have anxiety (both social and general) and that has greatly effected me as well, with both my depression and everyday life.

I am FINALLY getting help for this and I'm hoping eventually I will get better. However since I have the extreme stress of doing my GCSE's and I have a hard time understanding simple things, that might not happen to soon.

I want to say that I will try to upload more often once I get better but I just don't know if I can. I want to upload but I lack motivation and confidence to write... It's one of the many things that I hate about myself currently.

Another thing that effects my writing is the fact that I've had suicidal thoughts that basically consume my mind.

I hate all of this and I just needed to tell everyone about it just to get some peace of mind for myself.

I'm sorry to everyone and it kills me to say this but, I've grown up. I'm not the same person I used to be and in some ways, I hate it. I can't be sorry though because there is a huge part of me that has never been this strong. My thoughts, feelings, actions and understandings are all conflicting against each other and it's a huge struggle.

Thanks for reading.
See~Ya