*Texting*
Friend : wanna come over?
Me: can't, I got grounded.
Friend : what did you do this time?
Me : I got in a fight with my mom and she yelled, "son of a bïtch!" And I yelled, "Hell Yes I Am!"

{}{}{}

Guy: Hey babe...I know this is fast, but I really love you and want you

Girl: Oh hun, I love you too, but i'm Afraid.

Guy: Of what sweetheart?

Girl: That you'll love another girl and i'll just be the "Ex girl"

Guy: Oh sure! I'll love another girl! In 10 years and she'll call you "Mommy"