I based this off the lyrics of three of  BTS's most influential songs to me : Dead Leaves, So far Away, and Sea.

My teacher even gave me a ten minute lecture during class because he thought I was depressed when all I wanted was help on how to phrase something. I told him that I am fine and feel nothing like this. Sadly though things have changed and I feel exactly like this, so he was right in a sense that I was going to be depressed.

Loss is one of the worst feelings in the world. I try to blame myself. I tell myself constantly, over and over that it’s my fault they’re gone. That something I did, that has zero correlation with it is why they’re gone.
People always tell me that it’s not my fault, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. If anything it just makes me feel worse.
My whole world seems to be crumbling apart like leaves during autumn. The leaves that look like they’ll fall apart at just one little touch.
The whole world just seems completely different.
I still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that I’ll never see them again.
I hold on to all our memories that are slowly starting to wither away.
Should I then call myself greedy because I don’t want to let them go? Everything was beautiful while it lasted right? But now it’s all withered away.
All the autumn leaves fall down like my tears that I shed at the loss of them.
Purpose is what gives life its meaning right? So feeling like I have no purpose is like the meaning of life being taken away from me.
I feel lost, like I shouldn’t even exist. I’m confused, there are so many paths that I could take, but I don’t know which one to choose.
Not having anything I want to do really sucks.
I know it’s pathetic to not have something I want to do.
People tell me to just do as I’m told, and continue life with a smile as if the conflict inside myself is just non-existent.
I’m the idiot for believing them when they told me everything would be fine.
I only live because I can’t die. I feel so far away, but I can’t fall away, not yet at least.
Yes I only live because I can’t die it’s true. I know it must sound pathetic to you.
Nothing is worse and more isolated than not having something as common as a purpose. The only thing that people are telling me is to get my head out of the clouds and to just come to my senses.
I try to take out my frustration, but the only person here with me is me, so what’s the point of even letting it all out.
Every day is a new chapter and in each chapter I’m getting more and more scared, to open my eyes, to just breathe.
Everyone is drifting farther away.
As time continues to pass I only grow more impatient with myself. I just want everything to disappear. For goodness sake I just want myself to disappear.
And just like that the world throws me away never to be seen again.
Don’t let yourself get so far away, then you can’t fall.
Remember where there is hope, there is always hardship. And for all those hardships we need to be in despair.

Thank you for reading. I know it might seem like I just copied the lyrics down, but I promise I changed them a lot actually. So this story is kind of like my interpretation of what the lyrics say I guess if that makes sense. Okay that's enough thank you again for reading!

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