Have you guys ever had your family ask you why you are acting differently? When they don't realize that is how you normally act. When you have acted like a sweet, innocent person in front of them for so long, when you need a break they think something is wrong. When they have done a lot of damage on that day, without realizing it. When they believe there is no reason to be acting how you are when they don't know a lot of stuff that happens. When they don't know about your anxiety, depression, and other problems caused by both life at school and at home. When they say you are acting like your dad, which causes more pain due to the hatred for him. When all they do is continue to critics you through the day because you are trying to go through school while having to help your younger sister through a divorce and learning what a happy family looks like and how they live. When they don't understand by criticizing you, and not learning the signs of when to let you be is causing enough pain to make you break down in the bathroom, o hold your head while you let out a silent scream, to take the scissors out of the draw and cut your thighs. To draw blood and leave scratch marks. And when they act like you are in the wrong for acting how you act.

It hurts. It really hurts. Then to know that someone at school is crushing on you to the point where they harassed you about it. To know that one of your friends will never talk to you again. To deal with one of your other friends crushing on you. To others giving big hints to where you figured it out the first time they even mentioned it. And then not being able to talk about it at all. To where you can't speak to others because some dismiss it while some do their best to help. And when those who help your anxiety tells you that they aren't your real friends. That they are just like everyone else who has left you behind.

Has anyone else ever felt with that? It hurts. It hurt a lot. It hurts to not be able to talk about it. It hurts not being able to help yourself. It hurts knowing the only way you can be truly happy is in your made up worlds inside your mind. This seems like a rant. It's not. This is someone who just wants to talk about it but can't. This is someone's only way of getting some hope that the world isn't as dark and evil as it seems. This is the only way for someone to get everything that is inside their minds out.

I don't care what you might think about this. I really don't. But all I know is that I have finally spoken all in my mind out. And I'm finally feeling a tiny bit happy outside from my mind.