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3-09-17

Hey sorry for not updating lately I wish I could say I'm good but I'm not
My sister is moving to Arizona in June and I know that's a long ways from now but I hardly ever see her, I was listening to panic at the disco New Perspective and I started to cry about my sister moving, she's moving because she doesn't like here where I live she's never been happy here (same with me)
And two she wanted a new perspective and that's why I started to cry,
I'm going to miss her so much she is like a second parent to me when my dad left us she helped my mom take care of me and my two brothers
When she found out that I used to cut myself (I've been clean for a couple of months) she hugged me tightly, she hardly ever hugs someone, honestly she is my hero I don't know what I'm going to do without her
Honestly my depression has never left me and it probably never will my mom isn't making me feel any better, I can never tell my mom stuff without her judging me, I wanna run away from everything but I can't if I run away I'll never be able to see my little brother grow up or see my older brother become a chef (his dream job) I just want a break from everything
I was so close to cutting myself today but I remember the promise I made to my sister I promised her I'll never hurt myself again,
I just hope I can keep it

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