This is the first chapter of the book I'm writing. It's bad, I know, but still. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YOU GET AN EXPLODING CREEPER!

Hiya! My name is Alex. You may know me as the female default skin for a little game known as Minecraft. Ever heard of it? You probably have. There are people who make a living off of playing it and recording themselves. There are 435,000,000 results for it on Google. There are dozens of spin off series and books based on it. But it's no big deal.

Anyways, I'm not just a skin. I'm actually a real person. Basically, I did so many crazy things that Mojang decided to model a skin after me. So I decided to write all the crazy things my friends and I have done and publish it. But enough about me. You picked up this book because it looked cool, not to hear about boring things, like myself- Oh yeah. This is about my life. I will be writing most of the book, but there will be some parts written by my friends, maybe because they actually experienced it or they can write it better. Warning: you may feel the need to smash this book against a wall occasionally. Don't worry, I won't take it personally. Anyways, let's begin the retelling of my extremely eventful life!

It was my fourteenth birthday. August 26. I was woken up by my adoptive mother, Tracey Adga. "Good morning, dearie," she said, using her pet name for me. "Birthday breakfast is downstairs. After you've eaten, I have something to give you."

"Yes ma'am," I replied and slid out of bed. I ran a brush through my hair, washed my face, and got dressed for the day. I took a moment to look in the mirror and examine my new, fourteen-year old self. It was the same old me; me with the orange hair pulled back in a ponytail. Me with the leaf-green eyes that sparkled with adventure. My scar under my left ear from a sword accident when I was eight. My freckles and pimples that spotted my face. Me with the typical green shirt and knee-length brown pants. Me with the gray, mud-splattered boots that had traveled to more places than most kids my age could name. Me with the slap bracelet and ponytail holders on my left wrist and a watch on my right. Average, five-foot one inch me. Yup, I thought. Same old Alex.

I went downstairs and saw my birthday breakfast of bacon and waffles. Yum.

"So, you're fourteen today!" Miss Tracey said as I sat down.

"Mmhmm," I said, my mouth full of waffle.

Miss Tracey chattered to me as she bustled about in the kitchen. "And I was thinking that we could go shopping or maybe go to the movies...." she was saying.

"Sorry, can't. I'm traveling today," I told her, finishing my waffles and starting on my bacon.

"You are?" Miss Tracey asked, face falling. "But- but it's your birthday."

"Yeah, I'm going to the Ice Spikes biome to get supplies. I'll probably only be gone for about... oh, a day." I informed her, finishing off my breakfast.

"Are you sure you have to go?" She asked

"Yeah, sorry. It's no big deal, it's just Mr. Upham needs some string and he's willing to pay me twice the usual amount for it," I said.

"Okay, but before you go, here's your birthday present!" She said, eagerly thrusting a large green and purple gift bag at me- my favorite colors.

"Oh, thanks." I opened the bag gingerly and saw a small stash of snacks, a first aid kit, a small knife, a and a map. The map had all sorts of landmarks that I recognized and symbols that I didn't. "What's this?" I asked her, holding up the mysterious map.

Miss Tracy's eyes became serious. "It was in a box that was given to me when you came to me."

All of a sudden my senses were on high alert. We never talked about my past. Never. It was an off-limits discussion. She always just told me what I already knew; that I came to her when I was five from a family that loved me, but had to let me go. I was never told why I was here, only what I was here to do. I'm not bitter towards them or anything; I just want to find them again and... make sure that they still remembered me.

"Do you still have the box?" I asked cautiously, daring to hope that there might be fragments of my past that might help me put my puzzle of a life together.

"Well, yes, but you can't look at it. It's hidden in a place where you'll never find it," Miss Tracy said.

I inwardly fist-pumped. Typically when Miss Tracy hid stuff in a place "I'd never find", she meant the basement. "Well, thanks for the gifts," I thanked her cheerfully. I'd been needing a new knife for quite awhile now, and I didn't have the money to get a new one of quality.

So by now, you're most likely wondering why a fourteen year old is allowed to stay away in the wilderness for nights at a time and gets knives for her birthday. 'That's not safe or right! She's only 14! She can't be old or mature enough to do this!' But I can care for myself. I was raised to be an explorer and a fighter. My purpose in the village of Välkommen is protecting the village from monsters, gathering materials from the wild (which is mostly mob loot), and acting as a messenger between Välkommen and other villages. So yeah, I'm pretty tough. I need to be in order to survive.

I grabbed the bag and slung it over my shoulder. "Bye, Miss Tracey!" I yelled as I walked out the door. On the way out of the village, I decided to stop by the school, just to see what I was missing. I saw a teacher lecturing students on history and science. I saw kids huddled around cubbies, whispering and giggling. I sighed. I had always wanted a proper education, but I was always too busy with the exploration. Miss Tracey homeschooled me until I was nine, then we just kind of stopped. We were too busy, she said. But I always stopped by the library on Sundays so that I could continue teaching myself. I have already taught myself Latin and Morse code and science and history, and I read a lot too. I also was jealous of the huddled kids, giggling to each other. They had someone to talk to. To laugh with. To tell horrible jokes to and have sleepovers with. To have their back. Me, I'm all alone. No friends for me.

You see, the town of Valkommen about mixed feelings about me. Some of them thought that I was a helpful town member, and they would greet me in the streets. A few of them have even given me gifts, like food or really good deals on compasses and watches. Others saw me as an errand girl, a town servant. You have no idea how many times I've been forced to be the go-between for upset friends who wouldn't talk to each other. People would see me in the streets and ask me to run errands for them, such as running to the grocery store for them or the coffee shop, like "You! Girl! Go get me a triple-shot espresso frappuccino cappuccino frappe with two pumps of latte and chocolate, skim milk, soy, cream, two shots of nectar and the tears of a pink dolphin, with extra cinnamon on the left side with no-fat whipped cream and the hair of a werewolf and from the coffee shop!" I mean, excuse you. I am not here for your petty coffee addictions. Don't get me wrong, though. I love helping people.

Then there are the people who think that I am dangerous. They stay away from me in the town square and the trader's market. It's as though they think that I can't control my 'wild instincts' and would cut them up into little strips if they bumped into me on the streets. Sure, there was that one time that I had almost stabbed a boy, but that was years ago, and it was for a good reason. Anyways, moving forward, these are the people who stop their children from waving at me, saying, "Don't wave at her, come on, don't make eye contact." They cross the street to avoid me and recoil if we brush hands when I'm grabbing a granola bar at the convenience store.

I passed by the church and saw an old priest wearing white robes preaching about Mianite and how he was so great and all. Wait, I forgot. You may not know who Mianite is, or any of the gods. Okay, well, get ready for a quick history lesson on the gods in the realm of Tutoria.

The big guy, the one who the majority of the realm follows, is Mianite. He is the main god, and looks like your typical high-and-mighty being; Whiteish grayish hair, beard, white toga, blah blah blah. He's the god of the Overworld, where everyone lives. He is the god of order, goodness, bountifulness, truth, law, and generosity, to name a few. His sacred colors are white and blue, his sacred animals are sheep, and he is the oldest of the three main gods. He also is arguably the most powerful. He certainly has the most influence. Along with other extremely powerful deities and his siblings, he helped create our world. He made most of the Overworld and helped found a bunch of cities. Like our little town of Valkommen. Valkommen is one of two of Mianite's 'chosen' cities. That means everyone in our town has to follow Mianite. It's illegal not to. So that basically means that I'm constantly breaking the law. More on that later. Valkommen also is where he stays for important business in this region.

His younger brother, Dianite, isn't all that popular in this section of Tutoria. He is the god of the Nether, (which, if you don't know, is the big firey underworld place below the Overworld), trickery, merchants and trading, pillaging, fire, and destruction. His followers can range from calm, cunning merchants to village-burning, Mianitee-killing maniacs. It kind of varies.

Then there's the youngest of the Big Three; Ianite. She's my goddess, goddess of the End (the floating island in the void), justice, fairness, peace, equality, balance, purple, mercy, and hotdogs. Not really, I'm just hungry. She's the younger sister of Mianite and Dianite. Ianitees are neutral unless you provoke them, which in that case you'd better run because we come down hard on our enemies. I came to Valkommen from an Ianitee family, but I didn't remember much more than that.

There's also countless gods and goddess that aren't a part of the Big Three, the main one being Martha, aka Marthanite. She's Ianite's daughter, and shares the duty of balance and justice, as well as wisdom, elegance, and grace. Some other important deities would be Terrial, goddess of the earth, Joshep, god of the sea, Diem, goddess of day, Noctem, god of night, and Elizabeth, goddess of imagination. (Yes, there is a goddess for that).

Anyways, I was walking to the coffee shop, as I always do before I go on a expedition, enjoying the weather, when I saw something vile enough to ruin anyone's birthday.

"Simon Brutto," I snarled, lip curling at the sorry excuse for a teenage boy now in front of me.

"*God morgon, Lexi, isn't it nice out today?" Simon greeted me, using the nickname that he knew I hated. He got off of the lamppost that he had been leaning on.

"It was, and then I saw your face," I replied, disgusted.

"Ouch, baby, *glöm inte att." Simon said in a sickly sweet voice.

"I'll be how I want to be," I spat at him, responding to his Swedish words in English. "And don't call me baby."

Like most people in our town, we were both bilingual. Everyone in Valkommen spoke at least Swedish and English, but most people spoke more languages. I, for example, am fluent in Greek, both ancient and modern, Latin, Swedish, English, Morse Code, and I am learning sign language. Also, because I am the messenger girl, I have picked up bits and pieces of dozens of languages.

I glared at the boy who had been bothering me since I was nine. A smirk appeared on his stupid face. "I'll call you what I want to call you, Lexi, babe." Simon said.

"Du er en absolutt twat!" I yelled at him in Norwegian. Normally I am a rather peaceful person, but Simon was a... Special case. Remember how I said a few pages back that I had nearly stabbed a boy years ago? This was that boy.

"You want a kiss?" Simon asked me, because he didn't understand Norwegian. However, even if I had been speaking in the ancient lost tongue of the Aztecs, he would still know that I did not want a kiss.

"NO!" I screamed. "I said that you are an twat!"

"Oh," Simon said. Then his face lit up in an evil way. "¿*Desea para mí dejar sola?" he asked.

"I-huh?" I asked, puzzled.

"It's a yes or no question," Simon clarified.

"I-no," I answered.

"Okay!" Simon crowed triumphantly.

"Wait, what!?" I cried. What had I said?

"I asked if you wanted for me to leave you alone!" Simon gloated.

I had had enough. "SIMON BRUTTO," I exploded, my eyes flashing. The wind started whipping around us, and I decided to use it to my advantage. I held my hands above my head like I had summoned the wind on purpose and that this was all my doing. I stood on tiptoe, making myself taller.

"GET OUT OF MY BLINKING WAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE." I bellowed at him in my most intimidating voice. Thunder rumbled in the distance and the sky clouded over. Huh? I hadn't done this. I mean, not intentionally. Purple sparks started crackling around me, surrounding me like an aura. Okay, that definitely had to be me. Well, not exactly me. More like Ianite was giving me power.

"DON'T BOTHER ME AGAIN, GOT IT?" I screamed at the now cowering form of Simon Brutto, his eyes almost as big as his ego. "OR ELSE," I threatened.

I could feel the wind whipping my orangey copper hair around like flames of a fire. I looked down and noticed that my feet were hovering. I was floating. In the reflection of Simon's dull brown-green eyes, I could see that my purple aura was getting stronger. Then, in the reflection of the lamppost, I could see my eyes. Instead of their usual forest green, they were a violent shade of violet.

"I DON'T WANT A KISS. I DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND." I screamed. "DON'T WANT ONE, DON'T NEED ONE. IN FACT, I WILL NEVER NEED ONE, BUT THERE MIGHT COME A DAY WHEN I WANT ONE, AND IT WILL DEFINITELY NOT BE YOU!" I shrieked at him. Then it all went still. I landed on my feet gracefully. Seeing the absolute terror in Simon's eyes, I began advancing towards him. He started crawling desperately away from me. I laughed at his cowardice. "That was just a warning," I growled at him. Simon got up, ran into the lamppost, then ran away.

"Thanks, Ianite," I whispered to the now gentle breeze flowing around me.

I walked into 'The Pixel Pike', the local coffee shop, and took in the familiar surroundings. It smelled like every other coffee shop, with just a hint of pine. It had wood paneled walls, with pictures and art from local artists and photographers hanging throughout the shop. I recognized several pictures that I had taken myself. There were mismatched chairs scattered throughout the shop, along with a few small tables. Bookshelves sat in on corner, filled with encyclopedias and almanacs an old nature guides, as well as donated books. You could take in as many books as you wanted and take out any book you like, as long as you returned it. On the ceiling, fairy lights were strung from a large hanging light fixture to the walls. There weren't many people there, only a few older people reading books in one of the nooks .

I walked over to the counter and saw the barista who almost always took my order. "Hello, Alex! Isn't it your birthday today?" he asked me cheerily.

"Yep. Hiya.. Avery," I replied. I had to sneak a peek at his nametag because I could never remember his name

"Oh, well happy birthday! You're fourteen today, right?" he said.

I nodded. "The usual, right?" he asked.

"Yes sir, a hot chocolate with a sprinkle of cinnamon." I nodded again.

"Allllright, your order will be done soon," he said in a chipper tone.

"Thanks," I said. I went and sat down in my usual chair. It was right next to the window at the front of the store, so I could see everything going on outside. I enjoy watching the citizens making their way 'round town, running errands and whatnot . I pulled out my phone, clicked on the music app, and inserted my earbuds (Yes, we have music and smartphones and stuff in our world just like you). I turned on my favorite song and started humming along. Miss Tracey has always told me that I have a nice voice, but that's not quite true. Sometimes, when I'm alone in the woods or dramatically re-enacting a musical in the middle of the street, I can sing pretty well, but I don't really sing for other people.

"Hot chocolate with a sprinkle of cinnamon for Alex," I heard my order being called out. When I got up there, not only did the barista hand me my coffee, but a cake pop, too.

"I-I didn't order this," I looked at the cake pop with confusion.

"I know, but, y'know, it's your birthday," he said, smiling.

"Okay," I accepted the pop. "How much extra?" I asked.

"Nothing. It's your birthday!" He insisted.

I raised my eyebrow. "No catch?" I was afraid he would make me clean the tables or something.

"No!" he insisted. "It's your birthday, and I know that you always come here before you go out on a quest, so I figured that you're not having a party. And it's not like I'm giving you a dozen muffins. It's literally just a cake pop. It's no big deal,"

"Well, in that case, gratias tibi!" I thanked him in Latin.

"Non forsit!" he replied in Latin.

I sat back down and devoured my cake pop. It was delicious. I thought about how my barista friend whose name constantly escapes me had insisted that I have it for free. That was a very Mianitee thing to do. It was almost suspiciously nice. But hey, free food is free food, so I wasn't complaining. I got out my science book and started my self-assigned work; reading about cells. I never really got a proper education, so I've resorted to teaching myself. I particularly enjoy science, maybe because I spend so much time out in nature. For all of you who have a good education and are reading this book; don't take it for granted. In fact, don't take anything for granted. Life owes you nothing. Yes, school may suck, but you're getting to learn. If you're the type of person who posts on Twitter 'OMG i hate school learning iz so boringgg lolz :) XDD'... I don't even know what to say to you. Go to English class, because you clearly need it.

Eventually, I finished my beverage and headed off on my adventure. I walked through the spruce forest into the ice spike biome and shivered with delight. There were so many things to do! Collect snow, slide on the ice, chase snow rabbits, mine in the caves. I smiled to myself and said, "There are snow limits to what I could do." Then I smacked myself in the face. One of the side effects of having no friends is the tendency to talk to yourself. Sometimes I just mutter to myself while walking around town and people would give me strange looks. Then I would tell myself, "Gosh Alex, you're such an idiot," out loud, then facepalm because I had actually said it. I then continue to berate myself out loud, and the looks would continue.

I hopped around on the ice for a bit, then decided to look in the surrounding caves. I walked into one that I've explored quite a lot when all of a sudden I heard the unmistakable groan of a zombie. I quickly grabbed my sword and looked around. I saw the green nasty climbing towards me. I shuddered slightly. I never got over their soulless eyes, how they wore a typical adventurer's clothing, as though they were all slaughtered explorers. I slayed the zombie quickly and picked up the rotten flesh. I looked at it with distaste, but put it in my bag regardless. It was good dog food, and you never know when you'll run into angry wolves.

I mined most of the day, nearly fell into ice cold water, and found lots and lots of redstone. I don't think I'll ever use that much redstone. Then, I sat out in the snow, waiting for night to fall and for all the mobs to creep out to play. A few hours later, the sun started to set and I got ready to begin the slaying. I saw creepers, skeletons, and zombies (oh my!), but my main prey was spiders. I had needed some more string for trading and mending things. I was peering around the biome, looking for the spindly creatures, when suddenly an arrow landed in the ice right next to my head. I whirled around and saw a skeleton shooting at me. "Rude," I muttered to myself. I dodged its arrows until I got close enough to could kill it. It shot me in the foot and I retaliated by chopping it in half. I picked through the bones, looking for dropped arrows. Nope. I picked up some bones and put them in my bag. I was looking around for more monsters when all of a sudden I felt something heavy jump on my back.

It startled me so much I fell over. The something heavy was a large black spider. Its ruby red eyes shone like redstone. I threw it off me and turned to slice it to dust. I succeeded, but not without taking a blow. I had a large bruise on my arm from smacking it away. I looked through the dust and found two spider eyes but no string. Dangit.

I made my way to the half abandoned lighthouse that I use as a base whenever I come here. I had found it in a truly depressing state last year, but I've managed to get it in very good condition, considering it's a base in the middle of a desolate ice wasteland. I lit the lantern hanging outside the door. It glowed happily, casting flickering shadows on the snow. I dropped some loot off inside the lighthouse and returned outside to the frozen, mysterious land of ice and monsters.

I saw several zombies making their way downhill to me, but I ignored them for the moment, focusing on a creeper that had gotten in my path. I killed it easily, but then another came, and another. Soon I was being overwhelmed by mobs. I jumped and slashed and stabbed, but there were too many of them. Little did I know that I would be thinking that a lot in the next few months.

"Ow, rude," I murmured, looking down at the various injuries all over my body. I had made it halfway back to the lighthouse when I stumbled and fell over. I heard the clattering sound of clanking bones behind me. I could feel the cold, shaky breath and smell the rotting flesh- my flesh- from my side. Then, as I was slowly crawling away from the creatures, I heard the soft hiss of a creeper behind me. Instead of trying to run straight away from it, I rolled as far as I could to the left and went into tornado drill mode. This way, I actually got farther away from it if I had tried to run in my injured state, and I didn't get blasted into tiny chunks. I did, however, get slammed into a tree. In case you've never been forcefully smashed into a tree from an explosion, it hurts. A lot. I felt searing pain shoot up my spine and slumped down like a ragdoll. I saw another creeper creep up to me and begin to flash. I couldn't run. I couldn't hide. I couldn't fight. So I just laid there like a sack of potatoes, waiting for my fate.

Thwack. I heard the sound of a sword impaling, a soft sigh as the creeper turned to dust, and a fevered voice muttering something. Then there was darkness.