Hush little baby, don't say a word.
Mama can't afford a Mockingbird.
And since we are, poor as shit.
I'll raise you to appreciate, what you get.

"Momma look! I made a new friend."
"Oh, where is this friend?"
"Right here!" She held up an old speaker with two paper eyes taped to the front. I laughed at my daughter's creativity and let me tell you..she did NOT appreciate that.

"Mom? ARe yOu lAughiNg At My FriEnd?"

"No honey, I love your friend." I laughed yet again at the pure innocence of my daughter. "They're unique, like you!" I booped her on the nose which resulted in an adorable fit of laughter.

I picked her and her new friend up and placed them next to me on our tattered old couch. Enjoying the moment of peace that I had.

Hush little baby don't you cry.
Stay inside, don't try to fly.
Hush little baby listen well.
If you don't stop crying I'm going to hell.

"But mom! I want to go outside, it's boring in here."

"It's not safe, your father is out there and- you just can't."

Being a seven-year-old, as all 6-year-olds do. She threw a tantrum. A very loud one. And my husband wasn't very fond of loud noises. I tried so hard to calm her down, I didn't want to explain to her what would happen if she didn't get quiet. I honestly didn't know what to do, so I just tried to calm her down and it didn't work. I rushed her into her room when I heard his footsteps come up the stairs. I begged and pleaded with her to shush, and now that I think about if she was probably confused as to why I was asking so much.

Hush little baby go to sleep.
Please don't be loud, not a peep.
Because baby mine, can't you see?
Your father has a temper and he'll blame it on me.                                                                                      Hush little baby please don't cry, I really really don't want to die.

I heard my husband call my name from the other room. As quickly as I could I made my daughter promise not to come out no matter what she heard. I kissed her on the forehead and held her close not daring to think it could be last time. But I pretended it was. "Ann, get your fucking ass in here." My drunk husband slurred.
"Now stay here. Okay? Love you." I smiled at her and locked the door so that it would take her a minute to get out if she tried, and it would be harder for him to get in.

"Ann, what the fu- "He comically hiccuped. "AhEm, what the fuck took you so long?"

I stayed silent hoping he would start rambling or maybe if I was lucky he'd pass out soon.

"Answer me."

Before I even had a second to respond he took me by the hair extensions and threw me on too the floor. I landed on one of his broken bottles and got cut pretty badly. I screamed and cried and begged him to call for help, but he left me there. Men, am I right?

Anyway, eventually, my daughter heard my screaming and came flying out of the room. I was surprised she unlocked it so fast. She didn't say anything, she just stood there crying and staring at me. "Hey hon, do me a favor will you?" She nodded, not being able to speak at the sight I assume. "Run down the street. Go to Karen's house. That was her name, right? Tell her to call the police okay? Whatever you do stay away from dad." I frowned realizing that this was like some horribly cheesy scene out of some horrible movie. "Mom..are you gonna go to h-heaven now?"

Pft no.

"Yep, yeAh that's where mommy is going. She's gonna watch you and make sure you're safe okay? She's gonna help you grow and keep you safe. Always remember guys suck, girls  can be bitc- brats, teachers won't always like you, and no matter what you will always be my favorite daughter."

My voice cracked about six times saying that cheesy nonsense that was oh so true.

'' But I'm your only daughter.''

"Exactly.'' I stifled a laugh with every amount of energy I had left.

Hush little baby it's okay.                            It didn't hurt much anyway.

(I know it's super angsty and cliche hnghhhhh, but hEY I fricken tried okAY)