My parents are doing this thing called "Krampus in the Corner" (kinda like Elf on the Shelf) where he's supposed to keep an eye on the bad kids for Krampus

see 'im? On the couch?

I told my parents how this shindig has me more paranoid than willing to help and they're like "Whaddya want me to do about it? Krampus chooses."

Then I said how I was fine with this (TO AN EXTENT) but I didn't want to have that fuckin creepy ass doll in my room when I wake up and they go "I can't control what the Krampus doll does. Krampus will move himself wherever he wants."

AND THATS WHAT MAKES ME SO FUCKIN PARANOID ABOUT THIS CREEPY ASS MOTHERFUCKIN DOLL!! I HAVE A HUGE FEAR OF DOLLS AND MANNEQUINS AND THE FUCKIN THOUGHT OF THAT CREEPY FUCKIN THING MOVING MAKES ME CREEPED OUT

AND MY PARENTS DONT FUCKIN CARE