36. Do you believe in Love?

Me: Yes.

And I'm not saying that cuz I have a boyfriend.

Even back when I was that friend who would watch my friends get together, I would sit there and watch and think "Love is fun when you're together, but at the end of the day, love also hurts as it fucks you over."

Love hurts as:

-my GuyFriend who I had a crush on told me that he wanted to be friends

-the guy in my homeschool group started showing an Islamaphobic side to him and I was like "I'm part Syrian, and you're making it apparent that you want me dead."

-the guy in my choir/school told everyone last year during choir circle "Since I've been in this shindig for about 10 years now, I feel comfortable saying this: I'm gay. Okay, moving on-" and I thought "Cool! And what I wanted to say just got thrown into the trash."

-the guy in my Algebra class told me "I get you may like me, but I'm emotionally unstable and I don't like women. But I do have a friend who does."

-And me kinda-sorta getting along with him, asking for his number while he was sick and miserable, going "I'll befriend him. He's kinda cute. I just told him. This is gonna go the same way. "I wanna be friends." "I have a girlfriend." "I'm gay." "I don't like Muslims.". Love is fucking screwing me up. I'm gonna die old and alone-did he just say he wants to be my boyfriend?"

So Yes, I do. I always have, but I've just been watching all these people find their other half so easily. Meanwhile, I've been sitting here, wondering where the hell my other half is while every adult in my life is chanting "Take time to find yourself and that special someone will find you."