Lunch
Me: *opens cookie container* Oatmeal chocolate chip are up for grabs.
Kon: YUS!! Thank you!!
Car: Ooh cookies!! Thank you!
Bre: Cookies! Thank you! *takes a cookie and eats it*
Me: Don't care what kind it is?
Bre: Does it really matter?
Me: True.
Jos: *takes a cookie* It's a Yummy As Fuck cookie!! Thank you!!
Me: Welcome.
Seb: *walks to table* Ooh, who brought the cookies?
Kon: *points to me* My new favorite human.
Ale: *following behind Seb* Ow...that hurt my feels.
Kon: Two words: Fuckin. Cookies.
Me: Correction: Frickin. Oatmeal. Chocolate. Chip. Cookies.
Ale: Oh man. *takes a cookie and sits* Thank you.
Seb: Thanks. *takes a cookie*
Me: Yee welcome.
Kon: Dude, Ale, your girlfriend's the best.
Me: Wha...I...uh....um....
Ale: We're not dating.
Me: Y-yeah.
Bre: Why not?
Me: Well uh.... *looks at Ale*
Ale: Here, I know what to do. *pulls out phone* Ruthie can you b-back a further?
Me: Sure- Wait a minute, "Back a further"? How the hell far is "back a further"?
Ale: *laughs* I didn't know whether to say "back up a bit" or "back up further", so my brain went "I got chu fam. Back a further!!".
Everyone: *laughs*
Me: Same!!