Lunch
Me: *hands hoodie to Ale* Here ya go.
Ale: *reaches for it* Tha- *looks at it* Didn't you say that you have a white pug and a fluffy cat?
Me: Uh-huh.
Ale: Did you even wear it?
Me: Yeah.
Ale: There's not even a single strand of hair on it!
Me: Bella smelled Misty, Ash, Eevee, and Lucy (his 3 cats and dog) and was too busy being territorial to rub herself on the hoodie, and Kimchi couldn't care less. And I was cooking and I didn't want to get stuff all over it.
Ale: ... *turns around to Mar (a senior)* Hey Mar?
Mar: Yeah?
Ale: So-and I'm gonna talk about her like she's not here-
Me and Mar: *laughs*
Ale: When you give your hoodie to Con, does he get stuff on it?
Mar: Sometimes.
Ale: Does he wash it?
Mar: No. Why?
Ale: Okay, *points to me* this girl treats my hoodies like a Michael Kors jacket!!
Mar: *chuckles* Wh-wh-what?!
Me: No cat fur, no dog fur. I neither cooked nor ate in it. All I did was sang in it, and when I got home, I laid it on my bungee chair where my dog and cat can't get to it so I can cook.
Ale: See? She treats it like a Michael Kors jacket!!
Me: What's wrong with that?
Mar: *sees his boyfriend walking by* Oh, Con, Con, c'mere!
Con: *walks over* Sup?
Mar: She treats Ale's hoodies like a Michael Kors jacket! Like, gives them the "nothing can ruin it" treatment!
Me: Hey, I think getting to wear a boyfriend's hoodie is a privilege, not a right! And that we, as a significant, have to earn the trust to keep that privilege.
Con: She's right.
Me: If Ale let me borrow his hoodie and I returned it and it had shit all over it, that not only is a poor view of me-showing that I have no respect for anyone else's property- but also is telling Ale "Well I can't trust her with any of my stuff without it getting dirty or ruined". Plus, I've always been taught to treat other's thing with respect, so, yeah.
Con, Ale, and Mar: *looks at me*
Me: What?
Mar: Ale. Keep. This. Woman.
Con: And treat her like your queen!!
Ale: I will.
Me: And he does.
Car and Seb: *walks over with their lunches*
Mar: *looks at Car's lunch* ...Can I borrow that slice of pizza?
Car: No, my pizza ain't done shit to you. Back off.
Ale: Wait, why?
Mar: *looks at Ale* Cuz this convo seems like a man was bitchin 'bout how his queen treats his stuff before his queen de-bitched the bitcher, but now I think the bitchy man needs to be bITCH-SLAPPED-
Con: *under his breath* What the fuck Mar...?
Me: *looks at Seb*
Seb: *shrugs*
Mar: *sits* Why am I being so extra this morning? Like, one minute I was friendly, then the next minute, I just wanted to take a piece a pizza and just.... *claps his hands*