Me: *text* "Hey Ale"
Me: *on top of phone for 4 HOURS*
Phone: *never buzzes*
Me: *goes to the bathroom*
Me: *leaves phone on couch*
Me: *walks out of bathroom*
Dad: *holding phone*
Dad: Hey, your boyfriend texted you.
Me: Daaad!!
Me: *walking towards him and reaching towards phone* Can I have my phone?
Dad: *pulls phone away* Nope!
Me: *drops arm* mOTHERF-
Dad: Last I check, I'm your father.
Me: *stares at camera like Jim from The Office*
Dad: Plus 1 for the Dad joke!