-the fact that I made all the plans with my friends (except w/ Guy and Bee, my mom made those), so I'll have to tell them "Hey!! The main reason why I'm coming home just canceled two days prior to itself and rescheduled itself all the way to June!! So sorry I can't come hang out with you! I know I've maDE PLANS WITH YOU ALL AND THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME THAT I'VE CANCELED!! I'M SO SORRY AND I HOPE Y'ALL AREN'T AT CAMP OR IN WESTERN USA ON VACATION OR IN SOUTHEASTERN USA ON VACATION OR IN OTHER COUNTRIES ON VACATION SO WE CAN HANG OUT!!!

  -the fact that June is the fucking BUSIEST MONTH IS MY ENTIRE 2017!!!! I LITERALLY HAVE SCHOOL FROM THE 6-1 TO 6-9, SO I CAN'T MISS ANY OF THAT CUZ THAT'S ALL FINALIZING GRADES!! THEN HAVE A FUCKING REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT EVENT FOR CHOIR ON 6-10 AND I REALLY FUCKING CAN'T MISS THAT!! THEN I GO ON TOUR FROM 6-12 TO 6-16 FOR CHOIR AND I HAVE TO GO ON THAT!! THEN MY FAMILY HAS KAY FROM 6-17 TO 6-30 AND WE TAKE HER BACK 7-1!! NOW IF MY APPOINTMENT'S AFTER TOUR, DO WE HAVE TO CUT KAY SHORT, AND AFTER WE TAKE HER BACK HOME, AND DO MY APPOINTMENTS, WILL I EVEN SEE MY FRIENDS?!?!? OR WILL THEY BE ON VACATION OR AT CAMP OR WORK??? 

OR

  -the fact that my doctor LITERALLY canceled my appointment 2 FUCKING DAYS BEFORE THE SCHEDULED DAY!! Now I get it, she's busy, but this is the FIFTH FUCKING TIME SHE'S DONE THIS!!! THIS APPOINTMENT WAS SCHEDULED A YEAR AND A FUCKING HALF AGO!! And it's not like I live back home so it'd be like, "Oh I know it's 2 days away, but we can't do it that day. Next week okay?" and it'd be completely fine!! I'M SEVEN FUCKING HOURS AWAY BY CAR!! I HAVE A HOTEL ROOM BOOKED FOR TWO DAYS!! I HAVE PLANS MADE WITH FRIENDS!! MY MOM HAS HER BOSS COVERING HER CLASSES THOSE DAYS!! AND I TOLD MY TEACHERS THAT I WASN'T GONNA BE AT SCHOOL ON THOSE DAYS, SO THEY GAVE ME THE WORK!!! SHE COULD'VE CANCELED THE APPOINTMENT TWO WEEKS AGO BEFORE WE BOOKED THE HOTEL AND MADE PLANS AND GOT WORK AND GOT COVERS!!!  

im so mad rn, ive actually gone past the point of rage-induced sobs, and i wanna cry and scream and curse and desTROY SHIT-
ive actually gone on 3 different rage rants, and at the end of each one, ive ended up sobbing
i pretty much said it best to myself.
"I think it's best if I work on decompression today before my feeling of wanting to throw something or someone through a window gets a lot friggin stronger!"