This just happened. (My parents, my cousin, and I are going to breakfast with my friend and his parents, so we're not allowed coffee until we get to the diner)

Parents: *ARE NOT READY*

~in kitchen~
Cousin: *looks tired af* *probably is though* ready to go*

Me: *is tired af* *ready to go*

Cousin: Is it possible for someone to be alive but to feel dead on their face?

Me: Y'know, you wouldn't be so tired of you just got up at 6:30, aka the first time someone tried to wake you up, like I did.

Cousin: Y'know, you wouldn't have those bags under your eyes if you didn't stay up every night and get up early, unlike me.

Me: ....Touché, motherfacker.