Teacher: Okay, the next ones to the boards should be the person with longest hair. The person with the longest hair in your row go up to the board.
Me: *walks up*
Teacher: Okay, so your assignment is to write any plotted point with an absolute value.
Me: f(x)=|x+10|
Teacher: Now those at the boards, turn around and find someone else to come up and graph yours.
Me: *turns around* *looks Friend 1 dead in the eye*
Friend 1: *shaking his head* *mouthing* Doon't. Don't you fucking dare!
Teacher: So ***** is doing her problem. Sister Ruthie, who did you choose?
Me: *tosses whiteboard marker towards Friend 1* *Friend 1*!
Friend 1: *catches it* Dead to me. *walks up to the board*
Teacher: Hey, we treat our family with compassion here, Brother *Friend 1*!
Me: Besides, it could be worse. You could have ****'s problem. *points to board over*
Friend 1: *looks at it* "f(x)=-|x-27|-15+18"!!
Kid: What?! It may have an extra step, but it's substantially easy!!
Friend 1: (o-O)
Me: Countcha blessins, boy-o. *pats his shoulder*