Math
Teacher: We all ready?
*BING*
Teacher: What was that?
Junior in the back corner: *checks his phone* My mother, threatening my relationship with *girlfriend* via text.
Teacher: Oh, what'd she say?
Junior: *clears throat*
Junior: "Hey bastard. Ya know how I like All I Want For Christmas Is You ? Well here's my version of it." Seperate text. "I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need. I don't care too much for bad grades. That my son has, all F's and D's. You have 3 hours. To bring them up to A's and B's. If not, you wiiiiiiilllllll haveto. Breeeeaaaak uuuuupp wiiiiiitttthhh *girlfriend*." Seperate text. "I'm not kidding. If those grades aren't up by 2:30, you're gonna be single. You got 3 hours."
Teacher: ...Wow.
Junior: She got her wish, cuz I turned my crap in today, so I guess she didn't check today and I can go return all her stuff and get my $550 back-