Me: *watching Sam and Colby*
Brain: Hey
Me: This never ends well...
Brain: Hellooo
Me: What?
Brain: I got a question
Me: What?
Brain: Spring Formal, when is it?
Me: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on. HoCo wasn't even two months ago!
Brain: ...And
Me: Why do you want to know when the Spring Formal is?
Brain: Well I was just thinking-
Me: Oh shit...
Brain: You're single
Me: Uh-huh?
Brain: And *School Crush* is single
Me: ...Uh-huh?
Brain: And the Spring Formal is for all high school grades
Me: Uh-huh-wait-
Brain: So why-
Me: Wait a minute-
Brain: Don't you-
Me: I don't like where this is going-
Brain: Ask him to the Spring Formal
Me: NoPe!!
Brain: But whhyyy
Me: Cuz, like Thomas Sanders says, "Don't be eager to date yet, because the only person who truly loves you is yourself" and I don't even like myself very much.
Brain: If you don't, then you'll confess to *Homeschool Crush* at that Spring Formal-
Me: Okay, you need to shut up.
Brain: And you need a boyfriend
Me: I said "shut up"-
Brain: Confessing to them and having them turn you down is less painful than you living in some fantasy world where "Perfect" is the best and you think they like you, but you don't know
Me: ....
Brain: Gotcha
Me: GOD DAMMIT!!!