I know I said I was waiting to die to my knife that's still missing, but I've decided I can't take this life any longer. Please don't feel like this is any of your fault cause it's not and there's nothing any of you could've done to stop this. I know most of you will feel like that anyway, but just know that by feeling that way you'll be going against my dying wish.

I'm sorry for hurting anyone, but I'm just not strong enough to hold myself up anymore. Even though my mask gives me strength, it's not enough each bit of strength I gain, I lose twice that bit. My mask has been slowly eating away at me for years and now I'm nothing. I've been reduced to ashes in an urn, a body under the ground, an emptiness, soon to be filled and any trace of me forgotten.

Sorry, again, but now I'm where I was always meant to be. A mistake like me was never meant to exist, so why did I? Why was I given so many painful troubles? Because I deserved them, I tried to face each challenge with bravery and strength, but in the end I was too cowardly to face the world, when everyone else I knew was strong enough to.

About 20% of teens experience depression before adulthood and about 10-15% experience depressive symptoms at any one time. Over 14% of all high school students considered suicide and almost 7% have attempted. Now these numbers may not seem like a lot, but it's a big, big world out there, about 7,515,284,153 people ... that's over 7 billion.

Now imagine the number of those people that are teens and guess around what number each of these percentages would be. Scary big, right? Well now imagine how many of those people even know/knew of my existence and/or would care.

Yeah that's part of the reason you're all reading this right now, is the fact that legit none of the actual world would care if I fucking died. Sure a few people would be hurt, blame themselves, but this is nobody's fault but my own. My decision, my fault.

I know how selfish and cowardly I sound right now and I'm sorry for that. I really don't want to hurt anyone. It's just I've tried my whole life to be that perfect little girl. The one that was always smiling and never let what others thought get to her. But I failed, I'm insecure, even if I may not seem like it.

I worry what others think of me everyday. I worry if I'll say something wrong and hurt someone. I'm terrified of hurting someone and I've hurt a lot of people already. I try my best not to, but I'm a monster on the inside and once you recognize your inner self, it's a lot harder to contain it.

EVwriter I want you to know that you have been an amazing girlfriend and this isn't your fault. You've stuck with me for almost 10 whole years and I love you for that and many other reasons that I could go on listing forever, but I need to get to all the others. I'll love you forever, goodbye.

XxTwentyonepilotsxXx Emls, you have been an amazing friend and I love you very much, platonically, and I don't want this to affect you in any way. Please continue life the way you have been and forget about me, it'll be easier, goodbye.

licensedmichino Lee, you are one of my closest friends on here and I know you'll miss me a lot and I truly don't want this to hurt you at all. I'll miss you ... if I have any memories after death. You are an exact copy of me and I really enjoy being with you ... even if it's only over Wattpad. Thank you for being so amazhang and for always being there for me for anything and everything. You don't have to worry about me anymore, goodbye.

JMpieguy2001 you're the brother I always wanted and I thank you for that, you've been amazhang and put up with me through my best and my worst. You've laughed with me and cried with me and-heck you've even attacked fictional characters with me. You've treated me like a true brother should, not the way my brothers treat me and I want to thank you for that. I'll miss you, Jake, goodbye.

Athensgeek3 I haven't always treated you in the ways I should have and I'm sorry for that, I truly am. I don't have an explanation for why I was such a jerk to you, cause you've been an amazhang friend. You still continued to be nice to me, even when I was being jerky and I thank you for that. I don't want to hurt you, so I found a way that I can keep myself under control, thank you for being so amazhang and goodbye.

Demigod_Timelord you are an amazhang person and I thank for joking with me and for at least trying to help me through my depression. You did keep me from cutting myself though and I thank you for that. You have stuck by me and brought me back up when I put myself down. You're amazing in everything that you do. Thank you, but goodbye.

h2ovanphangelosgirl you have been an amazhang friend and introduced me to amazhang music. You've been so amazhang and relatable and fun. I don't want to do this to you or anyone, and I honestly didn't think I'd be able to get so close to so many people so easily. I hate to do this, but goodbye.

Lu-Seal I've literally known you since we were in diapers and I know you don't like me that much and we really only became friends by force, but that doesn't mean I don't think of you as a friend. I want you to know you're beautiful and amazing, goodbye.

Frosty907 I know you plan to do this some time in the far future and I hope this doesn't move your planned time closer any. I love knowing that all I have to do is spend half an hour looking up random pictures to make you go from screaming and crying to laughing and smiling. You've been an amazhang friend and I hate to think that this may hurt you at all so I kindly ask you just forget about me to make it easier for you and goodbye.

itsyasunshine you are an amazhang friend and I love being around you. You're really nice and definitely beautiful on the inside and I'm sure you are on the outside too. I know depression is hard to deal with and I know you do too, so I want to keep this as positive as I can for you because I love you. You're a really amazhang and awesome person, keep that in mind as the days go bye, I'll miss you, goodbye.

ItsYaOracleOfDelphi you're so fun-spirited and kind and an amazhang friend. You would do anything to keep one of your friends happy and alive and safe. You're beautiful inside and out and I love you. I don't want to have to leave you and possibly hurt you, but I can't stand this any longer, I'll miss you, goodbye.

Cobalt_Blu I've attempted to write this multiple times, but I couldn't bring myself to write this for you. Blu, I love you and I'm sorry to leave you and hurt you, but I just can't go on any longer and part of that is cause I know my mom will never let me actually meet you. Blu, you are amazhang and I'm gonna miss you and your writing so much, but goodbye.

@Annabelle_Faurot you've been a great friend and you gladly welcomed me into your friendship trio that used to be just a duo with our triplet. I've had s lot a fun with you and your book is amazhang. I'm gonna miss you and I wanna thank you for just being there in general, goodbye.

S0lang3l0 you've been a great friend and I want to thank you for being so willing to include me in your duo with Annabelle. You're a lot of fun to be with and to do random things with. I'm truly sorry to break up TOA, but it doesn't have to end, 'twin' would also work there. I know we aren't exactly the closet friends, but I'm still gonna miss you, goodbye.

ThatRandomFangirl11 you've been an amazhang friend and I love you very much. You're like a sister to me, but you're waaaaay better than my actual sister. You're sweet and nice, and lots of fun and I wish I could've met you before I left, but I see that won't happen so I guess, goodbye.

SchizoidSeth you are an amazhang writer and you're books are always full of not only feels, but also fluff and I love the combination between the the two. You're an amazhang author and I don't want to hurt you. Please keep writing, even if you lost your most enthusiastic reader because I'm sure you'll get a new reader soon that comments just as much as I do.

CrazyRealitymuch I wanted to say thank you so much for being so nice to me and for trying to help me through my depression and for trying your best to help me. Unfortunately you wasted your time trying to fix someone who's too broken to ever even have the chance of repair. I know you know how I feel and it's been great to really vent out my feelings to someone who understands them, but I can't take it anymore so goodbye.

StephoneBlack thank you so much for everything, you've been so nice to me even if we only really got to know each other since my depression's gotten worse. It was nice to know that someone gets me with the whole sister thing, even if nobody I've met so far could relate to the brother issue. I know I told you I wouldn't go, but I just can't anymore ... I can't stay strong when I'm broken into millions of tiny pieces on the inside.

NicodiAngelo75 this has nothing to do with you, I've been thinking about this for awhile now and I guess today's the day. I'm sorry to hurt you more and I wish I could've helped you a lot more before I left, but I'm gone now, so I guess it's too late for that. Now I guess, it's time to say goodbye.

anna_mac3 Cam, you're precious and I will always love you. You'll always be my Fox, and I'll always be your Gem, whether we're alive or dead. Cam, I know you loved me a lot, and I love you equally and I'm sorry to have to say this to you, but goodbye.

EVwriter tell Quinn I love her and she's and she's amazing. And I hope she can stay happy throughout this all. Tell her I said goodbye.

XxTwentyonepilotsxXx tell Kinzie and Lizzy and Dakota and even your mom if you want that I love them all like a family and I'll miss them. Tell them that I said they're all amazing and I say goodbye.

licensedmichino tell Sammie that I think she's amazhang and that your family loves her. Tell her I love her and I don't want her to keep trying to run away because it hurts me every time she does. And tell Sammie that she means a lot to me and that I care about her and tell her I said goodbye.

I know I said I wouldn't go, I said that I could stay strong for you, but I can't. I've made up my mind and I'm leaving.

Also I don't want anyone to feel like this is their fault because it's not, this is mainly my siblings actually, my siblings and school. So please don't do anything to hurt yourselves because I'm leaving. I'll miss you all, goodbye.

If you're reading this and I don't have a note for you, it's because I didn't feel you would miss me at all. Sorry again and I'll miss you all.

Everyone reading this is amazhang and I'll miss you. I don't want to hurt anyone, but goodbye.

I guess I'll say this one last time.

Byeeeeee!