If you are/were a teenager, than I can garentee you've played truth or dare at least once. In which there are two common questions: 'Who do you like?' and 'Whats your deepest secret?'. 

My deepest secret is something I dread saying outloud. So, when asked, I say I don't have one, that I am an open book. When that doesn't satisfy the asker, I make something up. Because, I'm not ready to tell anyone my deepest secret. 

'My demons are winning' I would say if I were being truthful. My demons are winning the war against myself. Some days my happy thoughts win battles, but they are, more commonly, struggling to quiet my demons. 

It's like treading water, struggling to keep my limbs moving and my head above the water. And as I am treading, I can see people around me sitting safely on boats. No one seems to see me. Some days my head goes under, my limbs slow, because why continue if no one seems to notice. Then I realize how selfish i'm being. I have friends and a family who need me. So I continue, kicking my legs faster. I am not an anchor, I will not sink.

On days, much like today, I look back at my footprints in the snow. Even though they are faint, even though they are temporay , I remember that I do make a mark, that I am noticed. That thought usually gets my head back above the water. I still am fighting the battle with my demons but I am motivated to fight. I am able to win.