A/N: So, this is the product of boredom, lockdown, procrastinating studying, too much fanfiction and too much Brooklyn 99.

 Noine-Noine!

The avengers are fighting some rando villain and Tony Stark blasts away a tentacle that would've otherwise hit Peter hard.
Peter: Thanks dad
Everyone stops dead.
Peter: Why is everyone staring at me?
Clint: Dude, you just called Tony Stark 'dad'. You said 'Thanks dad'
Peter: What? No, I didn't. I said 'Thanks man'
Tony: Do you see me as a father figure, Peter?
Peter: Wha-what? No! If anything, I see you as a bother figure coz you're always bothering me.
Nat: Hey! Show your dad some respect.
Tony: *smirks* no no no... It's okay Pete
Peter: I didn't call him dad! Also, we have an evil weirdo to fight. Let's get on to that!
Sam: That's old news. But you calling the Tony Stark 'daddy'...
Peter: Hey, daddy isn't even on the table here
Villain: I don't know man. I'm pretty sure you called him dad.
Peter: You shut up, you've done nothing but lie about weird, made up prophecies since you got here
Villain: Okay so I was lying about the prophecies, but the dad thing, that happened. Also, I still have to kill y'all so can we please cap this and get on with it?
*Starts firing at them and swishing his tentacles around*
Peter: Aha! You see, this was all my clever, devious, crazy plan to get this one here *points to the villian* to admit his lie. I *pants coz he's swinging from a web and punching ze villain* succeeded! Now let's finish him off!
Tony: I believe you...
Peter: Thank you.
Tony:...Son.
Peter: Aww c'mon!
Tony: Do you want to talk about it over schwarma after we defeat this bastard?
Cap'n: Language! Come on Stark, there's a kid here!
Peter: I'd like that.

Disclaimer: I claim no credit for the original joke or the characters. This is almost exactly the conversation that took place at the 99th precinct at the opening of this one B99 episode. I do however, claim credit for putting that conversation into the MCU  and the slight modifications because this is something I can totally see happening.