The letter began.

Cinder,

I love you. I feel like I need to get that off of my shoulders since I know I haven't built up the courage to tell you. And since you're reading this, I guess I'll never have the courage to tell you now. I love you. I'll say it again since I've left you now. You must be angry, but please know that I wouldn't leave you on purpose. No matter what may have happened, I've fought until the bitter end with you on my mind. I've always thought about you and always did everything in my power to return to you.

Of course, in life, no matter what you do, there always has to be an end. This time, my luck ran out and the red string of fate was cut short.

I have nothing to give you. No money to my name or personal possessions that would be enough to say I'm sorry. You are my most precious treasure and you won't be able to hear it from me directly since I was too scared to tell you. But if there is one thing you know about me, I wasn't the polymath genius I would like to be. So in place of a will, I leave you with this letter. It's nothing special, but it's my way of saying sorry.

I love you. I love everything about you. Your drive. Your will. Your ability to stay strong no matter how big the obstacles are that lie ahead. Your strength. I love you for allowing my sister and I to become a part of your family of misfits. I love your ability to step up without a moment of hesitation. When it comes to saving a life or picking up things I forgot from the supermarket, you are without a doubt, faultless. I love how serious you can be. I love how dangerously sharp your glares get. I love how it makes my heart stop and my blood freeze. I loved the intensity you brought to our sparring sessions and how you'd never know when to give up. I understand though. I was the same way.

I love that you grew to trust me and that you would come to me when there were any issues. I love that you were confident in my ability to help fix anything, whether it was through my advice or just me being by your side. I'm happy you could count on me when it mattered.

I'm glad to have met you. It hurts that our time together turned out to be short. I'm sorry you had to find out what had happened in the way that you did. A love and apology letter from a dead man is far from romantic and not really my style, but please understand that even from beyond the grave and away from the realm of the living, my heart continues to beat for you and will continue to beat for you even when it crumbles and turns into dust.

I love you. I wish I could write it a million times over.

(y/n).

The letter was dated a year ago.

Cinder shook her head before folding up the letter and sliding it back into its envelope. She felt a headache approaching and she pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to push it back.

She didn't know how to feel and the lack of control was a feeling she hated.

Her amber eyes scanned over (y/n)'s prone, sleeping form on the bed. The White Fang's medical team gave him some drugs to help him sleep a while ago so he should be waking up any moment now. That being said, he was far from dead, just injured. 

That idiot.

Cinder was, pissed, relieved, and thankful all in one tightly bundled package ready to implode. She wanted to hug and slap (y/n) at the same time. She also wanted to lay some serious hurt on the person who had did this to him, even though the person in question was already struck by an arrow to the heart by yours truly. Cinder also wanted to thank (y/n) for what he had done.

After all, he saved Emerald's life.

(y/n) was along for the ride when Cinder, Mercury, and Emerald ambushed the Fall Maiden as backup in case things went downhill. The four attacked the powerful host of the maiden, but the woman quickly fought back.

Emerald's description wasn't clear. She said everything happened too fast to comprehend, but from what Cinder could tell, the Fall Maiden had shot deadly projectiles towards the illusionist and (y/n) jumped right at the attacker, throwing his body on the line. (y/n) had taken multiple projectiles to the chest. Only if she hadn't lost concentration for that split second, Cinder berated herself.

They were lucky. Very lucky. They could've both been killed, but Cinder had quickly put the Fall Maiden down with a swift arrow to the chest.

But still, the damage had been done. (y/n) had to be rushed into medical care from the White Fang, a process that started the moment they entered their base. Cinder remembered the panicked run back and the tears that ran down (y/n)'s sister's face when they arrived back at home base. This was around the time (y/n)'s sister handed Cinder the letter. When she heard her brother's condition, she feared for the worst. Apparently it was something the (l/n) family did. The warriors in the family would write such letters whenever they went into battle in case they didn't return.

The whole thing was a mess.

There was a strangled noise coming from (y/n)'s idle body. He quickly grabbed the railing of the bed as he began to move around, waking from his fitful sleep. He let out a raspy breath, his hand instinctively moving to his injured side, obviously in quite a bit of pain despite the administered drugs. "Fuck" he managed to force out, his voice sounding drier than a desert. Cinder quickly pulled out her scroll and contacted a nurse. That's all she could do for him, really. She saw the knuckles on (y/n)'s hands turning white after clenching on the bars so hard. Hesitantly, Cinder reached out and took one of his hands into her own. It seemed to distract the man, almost startling (y/n) out of his pain.

"Cinder?"

She winced at her own name spoken in a horribly raspy voice. The nurse arrived just then and set to work on (y/n). Cinder made her way out of the room to give the nurse the space to do her thing. She made some phone calls to pass the time, letting everyone know (y/n) was going to be alright.

By the time she made her final call, the nurse exited the room (y/n) was resting in. Cinder tentatively entered the room and spotted (y/n) sitting up and sipping some water from a paper cup. His expression brightened as he saw Cinder, but it was obvious he was exhausted.

"Cind-"

"You're an idiot."

Cinder quickly cut (y/n) off. He gave the raven-haired woman a crooked smile, clearly not taking it to heart. "Come on now. I'm injured, so you can't be mean to be right now." He explained.

Rather than arguing with the odd logic, Cinder simply crossed her arms. "What the hell were you thinking?"

(y/n) grew quiet. He stared at his lap and placed the cup of water off to the side. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it, thinking over what he wanted to say. "I thought about how sad you'd be..."

"What?" Cinder gave him a strange look, not quite understanding what he meant.

"I don't really know much about your family, but I couldn't let someone close to you die. It'd be too cruel..." (y/n) softly said. His voice wavered, sitting on the brink of cracking. The thought of Cinder being sad was enough to hurt him to the core.

Cinder's thoughts went back to the post mortem letter. "You'd die to try and keep me from being sad?"

(y/n) nodded, the look on his face clearly showing the understanding of the irony there.

"I got your letter." Cinder said. (y/n) gave her a look, not exactly understanding what she meant, but Cinder waited. She knew it would click eventually and when it did, (y/n)'s eyes widened in realization.

"Damn it, Jamie." (y/n) mumbled. His skin flushed and he put a hand to his face, pretending to rub at his eyes when in reality, Cinder knew better. (y/n) was blushing. Cinder never thought she'd see the day. "Listen, Cinder..." (y/n) seemed lost of words, which was understandable. Oum knows most people would be panicked if they were put in his position.

"It's okay." Cinder said calmly. (y/n)'s gaze turned hopeful and caught a glimpse of Cinder's blushing face before she quickly turned away. It was different now. She couldn't look at (y/n) in the eyes now knowing what she knew. "You could've just said something. It's not like you to hold your tongue."

(y/n) scratched at the back of his neck. "I was scared, y'know?" He admitted, much to Cinder's surprise. Turns out getting impaled by a bunch of projectiles really changes a person.

"You have nothing to fear." Cinder reassured him.

The look (y/n) gave the woman was one of a child who opened a Christmas present to see exactly what they asked for. "You mean..." He cut his question short, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Cinder flushed again and simply nodded, afraid to speak and say something wrong. She was more of an action person than a words person anyway. She placed a hand on top of (y/n)'s. The man turned his hand over and let their fingers intertwine.

"I know a fancy restaurant on Menagerie that's trying to promote Vale cuisine." (y/n) said with a goofy grin, causing Cinder to roll her eyes.

"Are you asking me out?"

She couldn't believe it. They hadn't even gotten out of the hospital and (y/n) looked like he'd fall asleep at a drop of a hat, but he still had the ability to make Cinder feel warm and special.

"Yeah, I'm asking you out. It's a lot easier when you know my feelings and whatnot." (y/n) admitted, still grinning from ear to ear like a fool. Cinder rolled her eyes in response. 
"So is that a yes?" (y/n) asked again, showing his lack of aplomb.

"Yeah. We have a lot of lost time to catch up on."

_____

A/N

I haven't been keeping up with one-shot requests at all, so I'm really sorry about that. I ended up jumping from story to story ever since I posted this book. From "SOTS" to "Memories" to "Finding Solace" (though technically "Finding Solace" was originally going to be a one-shot anyway), I've been writing books instead of one-shots. 

I'm currently writing a new book, but since I'm kind of stuck during the beginning stages of it, I decided to quickly cook up a one-shot with Cinder since she was requested by RicardoTorres012 (if you do read this, I'm sorry for taking literally forever).

Hopefully, this was an interesting story and I'm hoping to be able to put out the beginnings of a new book sometime next month. If I don't, feel free to yell at me. I need some sort of motivation anyway.

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