Instead on working on my paper, why not write down an Egyptian myth?

When Ra, the king of the gods, got older, he became paranoid about being overthrown (as kings do). He was told by... someone, I dunno, that one of Nut (goddess of the sky) and Geb's (god of the earth) children would one day grow up and overthrow him.

So, Ra did what any levelheaded dude would do. He cursed the pregnant Nut (pronounced NEWT, by the way), and forbade her from giving birth on any day of the year.

Harsh, guys. That's cold. Pro tip: if you ever become an all-powerful god/goddess, don't forbid women from giving birth. It won't make you very popular.

Back in the day, the Egyptian calendar only had 360 days in it. Nut bargained with the moon god, Khonsu (or Thoth, depending on who you ask) and managed to get five days to stick on to the end of the year. These extra days were called the Demon Days (sick name), and on each of them, Nut gave birth to her five children— (in chronological order) Osiris, Horus, Set, Isis, and Nephthys.

Ra freaked out, because prophecy and all that. So he cursed Nut again (really not cool of you, Ra) and made her father Shu, god of air, split up her and Geb so they couldn't have any more children. Shu became the atmosphere between the sky and earth, and that's why the Ancient Egyptians depicted the three with Nut arched overhead, Shu in the middle, and Geb laying underneath (picture above).

A tale as old as time, lovers torn apart. Sad times.

And the prophecy eventually did come true, when Isis poisoned Ra with a magical serpent to make him retire as the king of the gods and pave the way for Osiris to become the new king.

You deserved it, Ra.

These divine assholes, man, it never gets old!