DISCLAIMER: Everything here does not belong to me, only the plot does. All characters here belong to the amazing Hideyasu Takahashi. All the pictures belong to their respective artists but I mostly get the pictures from Google Images.

Hi guys!!

I just wanted to say thank you, once again, for 700+ reads! As a thank you, instead of posting only 10 incorrect quotes, I'm posting a lot more! (35 to be exact!)

Enjoy!

=+=

Shadow: Synonyms are weird. If you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods, you're going to die.

Rose: My favorite is "butt dial" vs "booty call".

Spade: It's called connotation.

Joker: Also, "forgive me father, for I have sinned,"

Joker, winking at Phoenix: vs "sorry daddy, I've been naughty."

----------(•_•)----------

Joker: There are three ways to do things; the right way, the wrong way, and the Joker way!

Hachi: Isn't that the wrong way?

Joker: Yeah, but faster!

----------(•_•)----------

Joker: Hey.

Phoenix: Hey.

Joker: I can't sleep.

Phoenix: I can.

Phoenix, shutting the door:  Goodnight.

Joker: 

----------(•_•)----------

Phoenix: I'm craving something hot.

Joker, gesturing to himself: ;)

Phoenix: I said something hot, not a heap of salt.

----------(•_•)----------

Joker, bouncing off the walls: I JUST ATE 20 PACKS OF PURE SUGAR.

Hachi: What were you thinking?

Joker: I WASN'T.

Hachi: That makes sense.

----------(•_•)----------

Joker: *accidentally bumps into the door*

Phoenix: Are you okay?

Joker: I'm fine.

Phoenix, to the door: You stand in Joker's way, one more time, and I'll take you down!

----------(•_•)----------

Hachi: I'm cold.

Joker: Here, take my jacket.

Joker: ...I'm cold too.

Phoenix: *sets the world on fire*

----------(•_•)----------

Phoenix: Joker, can you pass me the pepper?

Joker: What's the magic word?

Phoenix:

Phoenix: *starts to chant in Latin*

Joker, panicking: JUST TAKE IT, OH MY GOD.

----------(•_•)----------

Joker: I hate it when people ask me, "what's the stupidest thing you've done?". Like, awfully bold for you to assume I've reached peak dumbass.

----------(•_•)----------

(Short Joker AU)

Phoenix, cuddling with Joker: You're so tiny and adorable!

Joker, half asleep: I could kill you in a second.

Phoenix, with heart eyes: I know!

----------(•_•)----------

Joker: 'Sleepy' is much more cuter than 'tired'. Everyone needs to stop saying 'tired' and start saying 'sleepy'.

Hachi: I am sleepy of your shit.

----------(•_•)----------

Shadow: I hate you.

Joker: I hate myself too. You're not special.

Shadow:

Joker:

Hachi: Joker-san, we've talked about this.

----------(•_•)----------

Shadow: What's your favorite color?

Rose: Queen, wait, what was the question again?

----------(•_•)----------

Joker, to Phoenix: How is the most beautiful person in the world doing?

Phoenix, without missing a beat: I don't know, how are you?

Joker, furiously blushing: I-

Hachi: Get a room, you two.

----------(•_•)----------

Shadow: What are you talking about? I'm the backbone of this group!

Joker: You're, like, the appendix. No one knows what you're here for.

Spade: Also prone to explode any minute.

Queen: And a real pain to remove.

Shadow: Fuck you, guys.

----------(•_•)----------

Joker: You know what? Underneath it all, you're actually quite nice.

Shadow: Repeat that disgusting slander again, and you'll be hearing from my lawyers.

----------(•_•)----------

Hachi, after spraying the leather couch: I couldn't resist the infomercial, Joker-san. "Unwanted dirt just slides right off!"

Joker, attempting to sit down on the couch: Okay...?

Joker: *slides right off*

Hachi: And voila!

----------(•_•)----------

Hachi: I love you all dearly, very much, like my family, but I would bury a knife in any of your chests for a pipe this exact second.

----------(•_•)----------

10:24 AM

<Hachi> Here are some good responses to being stabbed:

<Hachi> Scream.

<Hachi> Run

<Hachi> Call the police.

<Phoenix> Rude.

<Queen> Not again.

<Spade> That's fair.

<Joker> Are you gonna keep that, or can I keep it?

<Hachi>

<Hachi> ...Are you all okay?

----------(•_•)----------

Spade: Is Shadow always like this when he loses?

Rose: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2015.

Shadow: You bumped the table and you know it!

----------(•_•)----------

Hachi: I love being Joker-san's friend, but there are a few things I miss, like silence, the absence of noise, one single moment undisturbed by sound...

----------(•_•)----------

Joker: I never said I was gonna get back together with him. But I was thinking, he's in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave him a call?

Hachi: No. No, Joker-san, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth-worst thing. Number one: a supervolcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the cooking shows are lost. Number four: Joker-san calls his ex. Number five: Phoenix dies.

Phoenix: I'm Phoenix, and I approve the order of that list.

----------(•_•)----------

Hachi: We're screwed.

Joker: Hey, I don't want to hear that defeatist attitude. I want to hear you upbeat!

Hachi, in an upbeat tone: We're screwed!

----------(•_•)----------

Joker: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Phoenix, whispering to Hachi: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Hachi, whispering back: Because I have little hands.

Phoenix: Because he has little hands.

----------(•_•)----------

Rose: You ever feel like you're being watched?

Queen: All the time. When you look this good, you get used to it.

----------(•_•)----------

Joker: Everybody shut up, I am thinking.

Hachi, patting him on the back: Well, don't think too hard. I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.

----------(•_•)----------

Hachi: Gotta love knitting needles. I can make a scarf. I can make a hat. I can stab your eyes out. I can make mittens.

Joker: ...What was that middle part?

Hachi: I can make a hat.

Joker: That's not what I meant-

Hachi: A hat.

----------(•_•)----------

Hachi: That's not funny.

Joker: I thought it was funny.

Hachi: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

----------(•_•)----------

Hachi: I know you snuck out last night, Joker-san.

Joker, thinking: Play dumb.

Joker: Joker? Who's Joker?

Joker, thinking: Not that dumb!

  ----------(•_•)----------

Shadow: You think you're smarter than everyone else.

Joker: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

----------(•_•)----------

Joker: I got grounded by Hachi for a whole week just because I came home late.

Spade: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.

----------(•_•)----------

Phoenix: Which way did they go?

Joker: Well, based on the direction of the wind, the broken sticks in the corner, and the slight disturbance in the dirt, I'd guess they went left.

Phoenix: You could really figure it out from that?

Joker: No, you idiot, they sent me a text. See?

----------(•_•)----------

Rose: How much did you spend on this date?

Queen: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years but that's fine!

----------(•_•)----------

Joker: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

----------(•_•)----------

Shadow: That sounds like a terrible plan.

Joker: Oh, we've had worse.

Shadow: Should I even ask-

Hachi, exhausted from Joker's shenanigans: Don't.

=+=

That took me over an hour to complete this! Yay!

Once again, thank you guys so much for 700+ reads! I hope you had fun reading it!

Anyway, thank you guys so much for reading! I hope I made your day/night a little bit better!

Buh-byyyyyyyeeeeeee!!