Yeeaaaaaaaahhh... idfk why I'm doing this I'm bored :')

1. I ordered a chicken and an egg from the store. I'll let you know.

2. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

3. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

4. What's brown and sticky? A stick.

5. Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.

6. Want to know why nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they need to draw blood.

7. What did Tennessee? The same thing as Arkansas.

8. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.

9. Wanna here a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.

10. Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.

11. 5/4 of people admit they're bad at fractions.

12. Dogs can't operate MRI machines. But catscan.

13. Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

14. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

15. Shouldn't the "roof" of your mouth actually be called the ceiling?

16. What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two!

17. Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

18. RIP boiled water—you will be mist.

19. What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A lamborghini.

20. What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was loaf at first sight.

21. I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I'll stop now-