dxganronpa

'kay, much to my untimely demise, I have fallen into yet another trash bin

Actually, I've moved back into this new trash bin

But, anyway, yeah. I kinda [re]fell in love with Victorious, that TV show from, like, 2011

And thus was born an OC named Jacki, who is torn between hardcore shipping her OTP and fighting off legit hardcore feelings for one half of said OTP

And then this next thing happened in their improv acting class one day

Improv is off the top of your head. So imagine what Jacki is going through in this precise moment in time when what the dude she loves is saying to her is coming right off the top of his head

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're breaking my heart!" I cried, probably a bit overdramatically.  

"There's no such thing as a broken heart," Beck was cool and collected, his voice level as he half-glared at me. I could tell there was something else behind the glare, that he didn't really want to glare at me. He was just playing the part.  

Apparently, his character at the moment was slightly mad at mine.

I kept thinking of sad things, trying to force myself to cry to soften him up, and it was actually working for the most part. Beck's glare softened considerably as I felt tears brimming my eyes, "Then why does mine break every time I see you with her?"

Beck moved closer to me, cupping my jaw with one hand, making me look up from the floor. Making me look him in the eye. For a second, his eyes flitted away from mine, but they were back in an instant, "I don't know. I don't know why you chose me, of all people, to fall in love with but you need to let me go."

I slid his hand from my jaw, falling to the floor with a squeaky, emotional sigh. My legs were curled to the side and I was half facing the window, my back half to the audience, my left arm bracing my upper half up. It went pretty smoothly with what was going on, but in all honesty I was just tired of standing. I glanced up at Beck before turning my attention back to the floor, "I don't know why I chose you, either. Y-You're a taken man, and I'd hate to come between the two of you, but-"  

Suddenly he was kneeling in front of me, both hands on the sides of my face, making me look up once again. It took a moment for him to meet my gaze this time, but I couldn't bring myself to see where he was looking; his gaze was too hard to break, "I'm not good for you... I can never be good... enough for you. You need to find someone better-"  

"There is no one better!" I bit out, shaking his hands off my face with one angry shake of my head, "Can't you see that? You're the only one for me!"

"You're a lovely woman, the best girl I've ever known, a-and ever will know. You're so intelligent, and so quick-witted," he sounded so... sincere... it was, in all honesty, very frightening. He really was a good actor, and he was making me cry even more. But these were real tears, now. Nothing about them was forced, anymore, "You deserve a man who... who can keep up with your eccentricism, with... you."  

It was my turn to gently cup his face. He leaned into my touch, "I can slow down for you."

"No," he pulled away, looking to the wall. He looked like he was about to cry, "I can't ask you to change for me."

I shifted, and crawled closer to him, "I wouldn't. I can't change. I've tried to change-- others have tried to change me, I-I'm too stubborn, but-"

He met my eye again, and my breath hitched in my throat. His eyes were so... intense, "This can never work. I can never make you happy."  

"You already make me happy-" I had to catch myself. I almost called him by name. I sighed, "It's me who can never make you as happy as she makes you."

"I said it once, and I'll say it again," his smooth voice was soft and gentle as his hands slid down my arms to grasp my hands. He started pulling me to my feet as he, too, stood, "You need to let me go."  

I choked back a sob. Why was I so emotional all of a sudden? "I... I just don't know how to look forward anymore..." I looked him in the eye again, and was taken aback, "Stop looking at me like that!"  

"Like what?" his eyebrows furrowed. I think my sudden snap scared him out of character for a moment.

The look in his eyes scared the living daylights out of me, "Like you love me!"

I think I figured out why I was so emotional.

"I do love you!" he said it so matter-of-factly, so confidently, that I was beginning to think he wasn't acting anymore.  

It made me want to vomit, "You can't love me! Your girlfriend-"  

"I can love you and I do love you," Beck released one of my hands, bringing his now free hand up to hold my jaw. I felt his thumb swipe over my cheekbone, and it reoccurred to me I was actually crying. His eyes were staring into mine, and at that moment I hated my habit of never breaking eye contact first. It was impossible to look away.  

I didn't respond. I couldn't respond. He was leaning in. I saw his eyes dart, looking at my lips for a split second before returning to look me in the eye. His pupils were blown wide, and my mind had gone blank. I let my eyes fall shut, trying -- forcing -- myself to remain calm, hold my self-control and not close to distance between us.  

I swear I'd felt the ghost of his lips brush over mine just as Sikowitz clapped, "Aaaaannndddd cut!"  

Beck and I leaped apart, and I think I screamed a little. I'd completely forgotten that there were other people in the room. That Beck and I were acting. I drowned out what Sikowitz was saying -- I think he was telling two others to stand up and do another scene -- and wiped at my eyes with the right sleeve of my flannel, going back to my seat as I attempted to compose myself. In my peripheral, I saw Beck sit down, immediately draping his arm over Jade's shoulders; she leaned into him like usual. Like me, he wasn't looking at anyone.  

Even from where I was, diagonally three seats away, I could still feel the tension radiating off him.  

~~~~~~~~~

Ta-da...?? Like, legit, I hold this blurb thingy in high standards. Don't know why, I just... do