THIS WAS ON MY TUMBLR FIRST FOLLOW ME @queenpizza-box

request/ prompt: a gerard x reader where the reader and him get in a fight but then one of them leaves, and then the other gets depressed, and eventually tries to commit, but the other comes back and catches them just in time? I know it's sad, but can you?

triggers: suicide, depression, addiction, self harm, self destruction

i love everyone, :)
also sorry if it's bad, i apologize for typos or anything and sorry if it's short

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    "I can't fucking believe you! You're such a fucking idiot!" She screamed and yelled.
   "I'm the idiot? You're the one who practically told Brendon you wanted to fuck him! Can you not be a whore for one day?!" Angry thoughts clouded everything.
   "A whore? Excuse me? You're the one who cheated on a girl before we started dating! I did nothing! All I did was tell Brendon that he looked hot on stage! We fuck around like that all the time! We grew up together Gee! Bren and I do shit like that everyday. You're just now freaking out!" Her face was literally red from the anger coursing through her veins.
   "Fuck around? How about fuck together?!" I slammed my fists on the counter between us and she stepped back. I yelled in frustration.
  "You're drunk, you're crazy." A tear streamed down her face. "Why did I ever date you?"
   "I don't know bitch! Go! Leave to your little boyfriend, or maybe even go sleep with my fucking brother while you're at it!"
  "Really?! Gerard you're bringing that into this. Mikey was drunk and I had nothing to do with it! I tried to push him off! I'm fucking done with you! You're a lunatic!" She ran down the hall, locking our bedroom door.
  "Hey, let me the fuck in." She unlocked the door, pushing past me with a suitcase.
  "I'm fucking out of here, you're a drunk bastard!" She slammed the front door as I realized what I'd done. I collapsed to my knees, everything hit me at once, what I had accused her of, what I had said and called her. I'm such a dick. I shook my head and looked up to see she  was really gone, never coming back.

(your pov)

   I shut my car off, sobbing as I barely made it to the house. I opened my car door, my legs trembling as I walked to the front door. I felt terrible, but I couldn't be in the same room with him anymore, all we did was fight these days. I knocked, leaning my weight on the door frame. Ryan opened the door and caught my collapse. "What are you doing here?" I asked.
   "Band meeting. What are you doing here? You look terrible. Come on in." He looked around and shut the door, helping me into the warm building, the temperature feeling natter than the snowy weather outside.
   "Woah, Y/N!!" Brendon ran up and helped Ryan set me on the couch. "Stay right here." Brendon and Ryan ran off, Jon and Spencer coming in to help comfort me.
  "What happened sweetheart?" Spencer rubbed my back while Jon tried to help me talk about it. Brendon came in with blankets and pillows. They wrapped me in blankets and put a pillow behind my back.
   Ryan handed me a cup of hot chocolate and then sat down where Jon was and let me snuggle with him. Brendon sat in front of my face. "Tell me what happened honey." His voice was calm and soothing, so I spilled the beans.

   "That's terrible, you can stay here. We'll keep you warm and safe." Brendon rubbed my arm while Ryan ran his fingers through my hair. Jon and Spencer sat on the other sofa across from me. They both just looked sad.
  I got a chill through me and Ryan brought me closer to him, pulling my legs across his lap and I buried my face in his chest. I stayed there for awhile, gently sipping the dark, hot liquid in my hands.

(Gerard's Pov- 4 and half months later)

    I sank down the doorway onto the bathroom floor, crying into my bottle on gin. I remembered all of pictures of Y/N with Brendon. They were together now, she moved on. I'm still stuck here addicted to drugs again, wishing I had never said anything that I did say. Wishing I was still holding her, telling her I loved her.
   I held the bottle of whiskey in my hand and I stood up and set it on the sink counter. I held the pill bottle in my other hand. I cried, wanting to pour it all in my hand and then put them into my system, wanting them to do their job. I wanted to overdose.
   I looked at myself in the mirror, my face thin and pale. My eyes sunken in, my bones prominent through the rest of my body. I cried again, having to support what was left of me in my weak elbows. I poured the pills into my hand, and took a giant drink of my whiskey.

(your pov again- sorry for shifting so much)

    I felt like a bitch. Not contacting him for months. I wonder if he thinks Brendon and I are together. Brendon sure makes it seem like it. I pull into the driveway and get out of my small car. I knock on the door, no answer.
   I find it to be unlocked, twisting the handle and easing the door open so I can squeeze through. His car was in the driveway, but the house seemed empty. "Gerard, I'm sorry." I called out, nothing.
   I walked down the hallway, looking in rooms for him. I check our bedroom, the bathroom door was closed. He must be taking a shower.
   I walked up to the door and knocked, finding it wasn't even closed all the way as it swung open. Gerard was leaned against the counter, skinny as could be and holding whiskey and pills. I shouted, "Gerard! No!" His gave shot up so I could see him. His face was pale and thin, and his eyes were sunken and puffy, red from crying.
   I walked up to him and took the bottle from him. Then I took the pills from him, walking out of the bathroom and putting them in the garbage can outside.
   "Y/N. What the hell are you doing here?" Gerard had followed me, as he was standing in the kitchen now.
"I felt terrible for not contacting you and I wanted to come say sorry in person. I still love you Gee. Seeing you like this is never gonna leave my mind." He looked down.
   "I thought you had moved on? I felt like a dick after what I had said to you all this time, after you left I didn't know what to do with myself."
   "So you try to kill your self after completely destroying yourself first?!" I wasn't mad, just really sad.
   "Y/N-"
   "No, I'm going to call Brendon and say I'm staying here again. I'm gonna make you dinner and then you're getting rest."
   He smiled a little. "I'm sorry. I love you."
   "I'm sorry too, I love you so much too."