Denver-4:26 AM

  I sat, crying over the bathroom floor, I never thought this would be happening. I just got here, but not in time apparently. I heard crying and a shushing come from outside. I looked at him on the ground, dead.
  I remembered all the times we had together, he had so much to live for. I grabbed his cold and pale hand. "I love you, I always will." I whispered and kissed his hand. I wish his eyes weren't open, I wish they had closed when he died. I don't want to see his faded hazel eyes, I don't want that image to be burned into my brain.
  I cried more when the crying intensified to screaming outside. A hand landed onto my shoulder. "Hey, Bandit isn't doing well. I know you just found out, but she needs you." Mikey helped me up and I took my baby girl in my arms. She was only a month old. Gerard and I weren't even married yet. We were going to get married after his tour. But a month ago his little girl was born and I flew out once I had recovered more. He had never seen her or met her, and he never will.
  All he wanted in life was happiness, and he seemed so happy when he proposed. He wanted to get married as soon as we could, which was next month. I had everything picked out, and now that white dress I was gonna wear would be black instead, and covered in tears of a different feeling.
  Bandit stopped crying so heavily and I laid her on the couch. "Could you watch her Mikey?" He nodded and sat down next to her, tucking her under a blanket. I smiled weakly at the sweetness of the moment. "I still haven't heard the whole story." I said it out loud, not really to anyone specific. Frank sat me down, putting an arm around my shoulders as if the contact would make him breaking the news better.
"We all went out, but Gerard stayed here by himself, he said he wanted to work on some comics and song lyrics. We just agreed but we texted him every 20 minutes or so to check in which he would answer. Around 7:45 he didn't answer. We called him and he didn't answer. Ray suggested he was taking a nap. Mikey told us he had a gut feeling something wasn't right. We finished, payed and got back to the bus. When we got here, the door was wide open, the lock busted. The inside was all scattered and a mess, things were out of place. Then we got to the bathroom, Gerard laying on the floor coughing. He tried to talk but we all shot down the floor, Mikey calling 911. I tried to apply pressure to the stab wounds. Blood just rushed through my fingers as he tried to fight it." The image of Gerard will now forever haunt my memory. "The man wouldn't give up, he said he wanted to see or talk to you. He wouldn't die without his last words being to you, unfortunately, the cops never arrived, and Gerard died."
  "Did he have any last words?"
  "Tell Bandit that he will always watch over her," he bit his lip and fought tears. He was better than me, I let the tears fall again, the fact that he said that. I know he will, he is going to always be there in spirit. I've never been a huge religious person, but I knew that he was going to be the best goddamn angel up there. I know everyone joked he was going to hell, but never would a man so kind end up somewhere so terrible.
  Frank rough me into an embrace. "It's okay, we'll all help you. We will." I just sobbed in reply. I'll never forget Frank's words as he described my fiancé's death. The image of his dead body, the image of him fighting the pain, they will never leave my mind...ever.
   What hurts the most, is that he'll never meet his daughter, he'll never get married or grow old with the people he loves. Instead he died because of a break in. That's what hurts, the fact he'll never be happy.
 
  The funeral was dark, the room was heavy. No one really talked, no one really even looked up from the ground. There were three hugs the entire time. His mother and I, Mikey and I, and Mikey and his mother. Bandit didn't go, I didn't think it was right, but yet I changed my mind when Frank brought her along behind my back.
  You want to know the definition of scarring?
  You're one month old daughter looking at her father, then taking her flower she was given and dropping it on him, to where it was with him.

It will always be with him.