Soulmate

"The voice you hear your thoughts in is your soulmate's but you don't know who they are until you hear them speak for the first time"  

Unique, it was utterly unique, the 'myth' your grandmother had told you when you were young. You were always so curious as to how she had met your grandfather, a story quite breathtaking every time you asked. It was a constant thing–at least it was then–that you asked her to tell the story all over again, as if it had been your favorite bedtime tale. "I had never believed it, not in the many years before I started feeling it. You know how everyone has the Force in them, of course, some others are more strong with it...but others, others just have small fragments of its capabilities. And that one ability that I was able to gain, was hearing my soul mates voice speak for my thoughts."

It was astounding, the first time you hear it your jaw dropped. It was unbelievable, how was it possible that your soulmate would narrate your thoughts, and vice versa? In all honestly, you were quite terrified by the thought...yet, it fascinated you, and a small part of you wanted it, the ability to hear your soul mate speak your thoughts. Of course, not everyone was 'lucky' enough to have it. Your parents didn't have it nor your older brother, they found their 'soul mate' the old fashioned way.

"It starts off seldomly...your own voice speaks your mind, but slowly, their voice integrates with your own until it becomes one...until theirs overpowers yours and that's all you can hear."

You could easily remember asking as to how she had found her husband–your grandfather–after all, you can't just go up to everyone in the galaxy and ask them to speak for you.

"Miraculously...it just happens, it's a miracle...a work of the Force. You just run into them, meet them, a natural occurrence happens...you hear their voice and bam, you know it's them. It's quite beautiful if you ask me, the Force works in many ways that not even I know all about...but I must say, the way the Force handles love...it's magnificent."

It felt vivid, as if you had been re-watching the first time she told you the story all over again and you couldn't help but smile to yourself as you lied flat on your back, playing with the ends of your hair. "Soul mate..." You lowly spoke to yourself, the thought of it made you smile, because (as you had hoped for) your grandmothers story was passed down to you.

You couldn't really pinpoint when, but around the age of fifteen was when it all started, the slow introduction of the voice that sounded rather deep and...delightful? Was it the affect the Force had on you? Or was the mans voice simply that wondrous? You weren't sure, but you enjoyed the sound of it.

Once his voice merged into yours, it was as if the man of your dreams had been reading your autobiography to someone–our children? or maybe grandchildren like my grandmother did to me?–you liked to fantasize, even if you knew that wasn't it. Eventually, you had grown accustomed to it that when you had thoughts, you nearly scared yourself when you realized it wasn't your voice speaking them.

"Soul mate..." You repeated once again, biting your lower lip as you turned to your side, tucking your arm under your pillow as you gazed out the window of your bedroom, watching the moon shine down on you. "How do you look like? How old are you? Who are you?" Letting out a huff, you shut your eyes and allowed the sleep you had been avoiding to take you away. Before, you used to love sleeping, but once you had your soul mates voice in your head, all you wanted to do was think. Think...something I used to hate doing, leaving myself alone with my thoughts.

There his voice went again.

But it was strange, because although you felt as if you thought it, it didn't really feel like your own thoughts.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you simply brushed it off your shoulder as you fell fast asleep–or so you thought. What felt like two seconds of sleep–which was actually two hours as you looked over to your nightstand–a loud bang was heard and gave your heart a run for. "W-what the hell?" Clutching onto your chest as you grabbed a fistful of your nightdress, you looked out the window only to see bright lights exert from over the houses nearby.

Rather quickly standing up, you nearly jumped at the sound of something colliding against the ground just behind the door. Swinging your bedroom door open, you instantly coughed as you saw waves of smoke roll in, a bright flame growing from the first floor of your home.

"N-no," You muttered, your now heavy breathing making it hard for you to speak. Covering your mouth, you quickly rushed over to the room your parents had been spending the weekend in. "M-mom?! Dad?!" You shouted, feeling your body heat raise as the flames grew stronger. "Mom! Dad! Where are you?!" Frantically searching the room, there had been no sign of them, as if they hadn't even been there.

Had they left without telling you? Had something happened within those two hours of sleep? Had-Oh no.

Trying your best to rush down the stairs before the ever-growing fire reached you, you felt your lungs constricting as the air grew thin, as if the oxygen in your home had been running low. "Mom?! Dad?!" You screamed this time, your throat burning from the overexertion. "MOM! DAD!" There was no use, not a sound was being heard aside from the low cries outside and the fire burning. What was going on?

Then it hit you.

You could remember how your parents said things were 'a bit bumpy'. They were working for the Resistance, your father being a pilot as your mother helped nurse the injured–and, on occasion, the general. You had feared this was the ultimate bump, causing them to disappear on you. At least warn me!

Just as you were trying to find your way around and out of the house, your lungs were slowly giving out, breathing becoming exceedingly harder than before as you gasped for air. Your eyes, along with nose and throat, felt irritated, the smell of the burning fire nauseating you, feeling as if you wanted to gag. "S-someone!" You cried out, feeling your knees grow weak, suddenly falling on them. "H-...help!" At this point, your vision was hazy and your head was throbbing from the amount of pressure being forced onto it. Were you really going to die in a fire? Out of all ways to go in this galaxy, fire was going to be your death...not the hands of the First Order and not by a damn lightsaber...no, fire.

At this point, you were hunched forward, taking in your last bits of air before your body gave out, your arms collapsing underneath you as you collided with the tiled ground. Your body ached, every inch of it–especially your lungs–with the lack of air you were getting into it, you were growing more and more lightheaded.

"H-...he-...help..." The last bit of your voice came out as a low cry. Your vision being blurred from the tears and the smoke, amongst the fumes, as they fluttered to a close...but just before they shut themselves, what looked like a black figure approached you and suddenly, darkness engulfed you.

There was an odd amount of pressure being felt on your cheeks, as if something had been wrapped around it. Feeling yourself slowly slip back into consciousness, you noticed that the pressure was on the bridge of your nose and just above your chin, too. Something was scratching in your throat and all you wanted to do was cough, but your body felt too weak to even do that.

A realization hit you as you felt your body was no longer lying flat on the hard grown, rather, a bit upright on a cushioned surface. Your throat was dry and it didn't help that the dryness made you want to cough like crazy, so you simply swallowed, hoping that at least the saliva would do something–but you were wrong, your throat was killing you. Letting out a small groan of defeat–and pain–you felt your fingers slightly twitch as you felt something shift on your hand.

Slowly, your eyes opened, landing on the oxygen mask on your face, causing you to furrow your eyebrows. Where am I?

The voice, there it was again.

Although you felt like, in simple terms, shit, the sound of it was quite soothing to you...like music to your...mind? Shifting your eyes to your hand, you realized there had been an IV in you. Maybe mom and dad actually came back to me..maybe they realized they left their own daughter behind in a burning home...or maybe they didn't know the house was going to set on fire.

"I can sense you have awakened..." That was not your thoughts. "I take it as the injuries weren't that severe?" Narrowing your eyebrows at the mechanical voice, you questioned its statement. Injuries? "Your lungs nearly collapsed, luckily, you were found just in time."

Looking around the room, your eyes suddenly landed on a man sitting at your bedside, opposite to where the IV had been placed. Feeling your body instantly shudder in fear as your eyes grew wide, you recognized that face–the man your parents had warned you about.

"You know me, or, you have seem to have heard of me." His voice was so lifeless, so...dull. It irked you, it made your skin crawl at how dead it sounded, as if the person behind the mask–if there was one–had not a single bit of soul left in them. "I can see it in your eyes, you fear me...why?"

Giving him a confused, yet irritated, look, the man slightly tilted his head. Was he being serious? Did he not know who he was? The only man cladded in black with a tad bit of silver on him screamed who he was–Kylo Ren.

"Is it because your parents have warned you about me? They are Resistance members, yes?" Your body went cold, your once shaking body went stiff. How had he known? Did he read your thoughts? You would have easily felt the shift in the Force–and the overbearing pressure–in your head if he had. "Your lucky my men never found them...the people they had found, you'll be lucky to hear they were of no use to me."

Eyes growing wide once again, you practically ripped off the oxygen mask away from your face as you let out a heavy breath. "What have you done to them?!" What you expected to sound stern came out as a scratchy, panicky, tone.

"That is for me to know-"

"What...have you done..." This time, your voice came out much more stronger, not as shaky and broken as before.

The masked instantly snapped back over to you as it had looked away. "If you must know, I k-"

"No!" You shouted before he could finish, swiftly removing the IV from your hand and hopping off of the bed. "N-no...no you did not kill them!" Your body was trembling once again, fear raging through your veins as you stood on the opposite side of the bed, watching him slowly stand up and realize how much taller he was than you–he was too tall, his height was too intimidating. "I-if you killed them...th-then why am I here?!" A cry escaped your mouth, your bottom lip quivering as you could sense the tears coming on.

"Now, why would I do that?" Tilting his head, you gulped. "I needed someone to survive, of course..."

"Th-that doesn't mean anything, you-you could have chosen anyone, why a girl who was about to die in a fire?"

"Because..." Watching his gloved hands move, you nearly flinched, only to see them clutch onto the bottom of the helmet as he had pressed a bottom, allowing it to unlock and giving him access to remove it. "I am the one who saved you."

The sound was awfully familiar, his voice was no longer synthesized, rather...human. That voice. Your eyes felt as if they were about to pop out of your head after the many times of them growing wide, this one making a record at how open they had been. No, it can't be. "Y-you..." Out of all people, no...not him. "No...not...not you!" Shaking your head as the threatening tears had finally slipped, you hadn't realized that he was now leaning forward.

"You hear it too, don't you? My voice utters your thoughts as yours does the same for mine. I knew it was you, I could feel it."

"Th-this is impossible! My soul mate was not meant to be a murderer! Not meant to be the enemy! Not meant to be you!" You seethed, your fists balling up as your jaw clenched, as if he had been at fault. "I-I could never love a man like you! If you even are a man!" You spat, watching as his face had the same, dull expression throughout.

Your chest was heaving, it was hurting you since your lungs were still in pain, but at this point, nothing heart more than realizing your soul mate was Kylo Ren. "Never say never."

Blinking, you looked up at him with sheer confusion, you knew he could never love anyone in his position, so why even say such thing? "You're going to kill me, too..." Now, your voice was as soft as ever, coming out as a mere whisper as your features soften. You were going to die in the hands of your soul mate.

"Now, why would I do such a thing?" Lifting your head up in bewilderment, you watched as his hand reached forward, not realizing he had removed his glove until bare skin came to contact with your cheek, causing you to wince. "You are my soul mate..." Feeling his thumb brush against the skin, you shut your eyes, hoping to reopen them an realize you were in a nightmare. But as soon as you did, he was still standing there in front of you, gazing at every little feature on your face. "I have learned that no matter how hard I try to push it away, the Force always has it's way of creeping back...so why not accept it and bend the rules in ways that I can benefit from it?"

"Benefit?!" You smacked his hand down, instantly feeling a bit pitiful as you regretted hitting him. No, no I don't! I can't! "Having a soul mate is not a joke! It's something real, something you can never have because I can never love you!"

"That's what your head is saying, but your heart," Feeling his finger push against where your heart was now rapidly beating, he gave you a small smirk. "It says otherwise. It's beating for me, and only me. You are mine."

"You are mine." His last words plagued your thoughts, echoing throughout your mind and sending shivers down your spine. "You are mine." The force he had put on the word 'mine' terrified you, as if you had been some sort of...object? As if you were something that he could keep on display in his room for the galaxy–or just him–to see. "Mine." You gulped at the way the word rolled off of his tongue, the amount of possession being enforced. Those three words haunted you, your heart now in your throat as the amount of pressure from its pounding vibrated through your ears. I am no ones, but my own.

Or at least you tried to convince yourself. You didn't have that kind of will to just yell it to him, you feared the man more than you could have ever imagined. In simplest terms, you were scared. Sure, you liked to believe you could handle yourself–after all, your brother was never really seen as your parents worked with the resistance–ninety percent of the time you were on your own. But now, now you felt as if you shed that bravery and gained a new exterior that was fear itself.

If I am his, then why am I locked up like a hostage? The sudden sound of your thoughts made you cringe, your body scrunching up as you winced. It wasn't the same, not the voice you adored hearing–no–it was a voice that sent panic throughout your entire soul rather than bliss. Your mind wasn't safe any longer, not just because Kylo could easily tap into it, but because his voice was all you could hear.

It was impossible at this point to somehow change it to be your own, it wasn't that simple, having a soul mate literally meant having their voice forever. Forever? There goes another cringe. You weren't ready to live the rest of your life having his voice speak your thoughts, now that you know who he is.

"Out of all people, why me?" This time, you spoke out loud, not wanting to hear his glum voice. You prayed there was something–someone–out there that could save you from the hell you were now in. You didn't deserve this! You were a young woman living a civil life off on a small planet that was quite peaceful...what did you do to get yourself into such trouble? "It isn't my fault...it was destined to happen, this was the 'run in' grandmother informed me about."

Letting out a small sigh, you felt your back slowly sliding down the wall, your bottom now hurting from the amount spent sitting flat on the ground. You didn't dare lay, nor touch, anything in the room. This wasn't your home, this place was nowhere near welcoming, it was like your own cell in hell.

A wave of trembles hit you, your body not being properly covered up from the cold temperature being spread throughout wherever you were. You were in your pajamas, a simple night dress that went just above mid-thigh that had thin straps, this wasn't meant for anything under seventy degree weather. Which made you think, where were you?

The walk you had took over to the cell (which you were nicely escorted by a pair of stormtroopers) Kylo Ren had moved you to was a bit unusual. The halls were so monotonous, only three colors seen throughout–black, white, and silver. On occasion, you'd see red on the patches of the uniform the men (you assumed to be) ranked First Order members.

Feeling the darkness that is terror slowly consume every cell in your body, a sudden knock on the door snapped you out of the menacing trance. "The commander would like a word with you." Looking up from the black tiled ground you had been staring at, a stormtrooper stood there, blaster held in it's usual position as they awaited your approach.

"Commander?" Furrowing your eyebrows, they suddenly relaxed as you rolled your eyes, "You mean that fool who is keeping me hostage here? Hadn't he had enough of me for a day? He just left me two hours ago...or so it feels-"

"Commander Ren requests your presence-"

"Requests my presence? How formal." Letting out a small sigh, you pushed away any anxiety you had burning up in you, it was enough he had seen your fearful state earlier...by now you had to seem somewhat unintimidated by his being, in hopes it'd make the situation much more easier. But your pounding heart liked to think otherwise. You're act won't last long.

Shutting your eyes at his voice, you reopened them as you stood up and followed the stormtrooper. What could the man possibly want? You literally had just seen him moments ago, what was so urgent for him to 'request your presence'? What, did he think this whole 'soul mate' issue was for him to use you when needed? I hope not!

"Do you have music?" Breaking the deadly silence between the two of you, the stormtrooper just looked down at you, then back ahead of him. "I'll take that as a no, I'm sure the First Order doesn't have something as nice as that, right?" Who were you kidding, he wasn't gonna answer that either.

The walk felt rather long than the one you had taken to get to your cell. Were you going somewhere else? Were you going to where they slaughtered their victims? Or maybe worse, Kylo Ren's room?

"Mind me asking as to where we're going?" Looking over at the man (or woman, you couldn't tell), you felt chills tingle across your skin as you felt a breeze. Kylo could have been at least decent enough to give you a blanket...and shoes, shoes would have been great thanks to the fact you were barefoot.

"To commander Ren-"

"I know that," You snapped, "I meant where exactly?" Raising your eyebrows at them as you shook your head, they came to a complete stop, only making your shoulder collide into their back. "At least warn me before taking a sudden stop," You mumbled, rubbing your shoulder. I didn't know their armor was that thick. Common sense.

Taking in a deep breath as you shifted your jaw in annoyance, you were growing more and more aggravated that you couldn't simply think without being reminded whose voice was speaking. "We are here."

"Wow, I thought we were taking a bathroom break." Looking over their shoulder at your sarcastic remark, the trooper simply looked away with a small huff. You could have sworn that underneath that mask, they rolled their eyes at you. "Where are we exactly?" Looking at the metallic door in front of you, you leaned back to see the hallway was completely barren on either end.

You hadn't noticed because the moment you had stepped out of that dreadful cell, hordes of eyes were on you and you made sure you didn't pay them any attention. Had they not seen nightwear before? Had they not seen feet before? Had they not seen a prisoner before? You were sure they had, after all, they are the First Order...prisoners must've come and gone (thanks to death) as if they were air. "We are in private quarters-"

"Private quarters? Like his bedroom-"

"Like interrogation," The trooper corrected you, only making you gulp. Not realizing the trooper had pressed a few numbers on the keypad, the door suddenly slid open, leaving you standing there as your heart sunk. "Get in there," They roughly pushed you, making you stumble a bit. Looking over, you shot the trooper a deadly look before taking a seat on one of the chairs. Yet another dull room.

"Fuck me..." You mumbled to yourself as you roughly pushed your hand through your hair, you were bound to get used to the voice sooner or later.

"Commander Ren will be here shortly." And with that, the door shut with a small echo.

"Exciting..." Gazing around the room, your eyes trailed every inch of it, in hopes there wasn't a single thing in there that could possibly harm you. "Who am I kidding, his bare hands can kill me..." You breathed, looking around and seeing all four walls were nothing but silver metal, the ground being the same as the ground in your cell, nothing but a table and two chairs embellishing the room.

Leaning your elbows on the metallic table, you shoved your face into the palm of your hands as you let out a groan. This was not how you expected your night to go. It was supposed to be like every other night, spent in your room sleeping and dreaming about the day you'd meet your soul mate. If only you had known that the day would come sooner than later and be far more worse than you'd expected.

Hearing the door hiss open, you didn't even bother lift up your head, you knew it was him walking in. The sheer sound of his boots knocking against the tiled ground, sounding closer and closer, made your heart race. What was going to happen to you now? He said he didn't want to kill you, but what if he had changed his mind? What if what he said was a lie? He wasn't going to benefit from having a damn soul mate, so why let you live?

"Look at me." His stiff voice boomed through the helmet, making you take in a deep breath. Do I really have to? We both know exactly where my fate lies here...might as well end me now as I'm hiding away. "Y/L/N, look at me."

Shooting your head up, your eyebrow arched. "You know my last name, how?" Gulping, you watched as he stood there, towering over you. "And don't say you read my mind, I wouldfeel it," You narrowed your eyes at him.

"Your parents, as I mentioned before, I know they are Resistance members..." He simply stated, only making your expression shift to a muddled one. "Kai and Amya Y/L/N...one of the Resistance best." Narrowing your eyebrows, you watched him take a small step back before pacing, circling around the table. "Kai, your father, he is one of the best pilots there is–aside from Poe Dameron, correct?" Furrowing your eyebrows even more, Kylo continued on. "Amya, your mother, one of the finest nurses of her–and our–time, the right hand woman to the General. I've heard she's done some remarkable things, some have even questioned if she is Force Sensitive-"

"She is not, you will not dare go after her!" Your voice exclaimed, giving him a vicious look as he came to a stop and looked over at you. You hadn't realized until now how absolutely terrifying his helmet had looked without the hooded cape he wore over it.

"There is no need for me to go after them, unless, of course, they physically get in my way. Do not worry about your mother, if she is indeed Force Sensitive, her abilities are dormant–healing won't do much for me." Seeing as he continued on with his pace, you felt the pressure on your shoulders slightly lift, as if you had been worried he would do something to you from your barking.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? As if you won't try and go after them, you even said it before, you couldn't find them. It seems as if you know a whole lot about them, more than you should." Turning your head as you watched him come back into view on your left side, Kylo suddenly stopped with his back facing you.

"You do not trust my word."

"Of course not! Look at the position you are holding me in! Look at the man who is talking! Why should I trust you?" The heat was rising in your face out of anger. How did he have the audacity to ask such a stupid question as that one?

"I do not feel the need to lie to you, Y/L/N." His voice sounded rather harsh, as if you had been the one irritating him.

"Why should I believe that?" Crossing your arms, you leaned back in the seat as you kept an eye on him, in hopes he wouldn't pull anything...funny...on you.

"Because, we are soul mates-"

"Oh, don't give me that excuse!" Slamming your palms on the table, you stood up. "We both know that's a loud of shit!"

"You seem to doubt the ways of the Force," Looking over his shoulder, you lowly swallowed as you blinked. Please don't go insane on me now, please don't. "The Force is quite powerful, I'm sure you would know, after all, you are dealing with one of the many capabilities it has..."

"Why do you seem to care so much about this whole soul mate hoorah? We both know a man like you does not have any interest in love...unless it's loving power or loving something as evil as murdering innocent bystanders-"

"Do you really think I enjoy killing?" Kylo snapped a look at you as his whole body turned, making yours feel stiff. "I do not slaughter for fun."

"You're right, you kill anything and anyone that gets in your way..." Crossing your arms, your eyes slowly drifted away from looking at the lifeless helmet before mumbling, "Sounds to me as if you don't care about others sake..."

"Do not talk to me as if you know me!" Hearing his voice raise, follow by the bang of his fist meeting the table, only made you flinch; eyes slowly drifting to were the rather large indent appeared on the metal.

"I don't...but I can easily tell the man you are, and the man you are isn't the man I want to spend the rest of my life with." Slowly looking up at him, you watched as his chest slightly heaved.

"You keep listening to your doubtful thoughts, but we both know you can't withstand the truth forever."

Feeling your eyebrows knit as you looked at him, you weren't sure how to respond. Why was he so addicted to the thought that you'd actually love him someday? Doesn't he prefer to be left alone? He was right, you didn't know him, so you couldn't be so quick to judge. But Kylo Ren wasn't a man anyone should fall in love with, let alone, have as a soul mate. He was a monster and monsters are never loved. "Why are you so hung up on the idea?" You frowned, unsure as to why he wanted you to love him so bad.

"Because," Watching him took a step forward, his body was now only inches away from yours as he looked directly down at you. "Even monsters deserve to be loved."